I was asleep by 12:30AM and ignored the screeching alarm clock until Mom woke me at 7:15AM. I managed to get Alex to the bus on time.
I returned to the house and began computing for a while. Then I thought of the fact I needed to do my map for this year and did that. The map is a rough plan of goals I set for myself. I do it in color and it consists of words. This year I have a lot I want to accomplish. The biggest thing is probably earn some money. Debt will force you to do that.
I had an appointment with Brenda, my counselor, at 1:30PM. I managed to get there early and read some in the waiting room. We discussed my stress, and how to maybe eliminate some of it. Now that I am more awake, aware, and alert things bug me more. My nerves don’t handle the pressure well sometimes. Brenda gave me homework to do, and I am not sure how to write it out, but I will work on it. Lots of times if I write things out I come up with my own answers. That is why I believe so strongly that writing and art keep me sane… if you can call it that.
I came home and spent quite a while talking to Mom, who just happens to be part of my stress problem. She and I have some serious communication problems at times and it upsets me no end. I love her dearly, but she drives me nuts often.
I cooked barbequed chicken and broccoli rice au gratin tonight. Alex has been eating like a starving hippopotamus lately and I weighed him to find out if he was gaining any weight. He has gained somewhere around 15 pounds since about Christmas. This is good because he was quite thin. However, it means he will have to get outside and do more physical activity if he wants to stay toned. That is not easy for a geek. Computer, Xbox, iPAC are the kid’s favorite things in the world. At least he is not addicted to the idiot box. We rarely watch any television, but he likes to watch DVDs of movies and anime.
I got disturbing news this evening. One of my best friend’s husband had a serious accident and totaled his car. She has to drive over to Louisiana and pick him up. I am a little worried about her driving so far because she has some problems with her back. Maybe it will work out okay though. At least he is okay, or we think he is…
I also got news from another friend who is going to the Capitol tomorrow to speak in protest of some of the cuts our state government is planning on making to Medicaid. If the plan goes through this very wonderful person may be forced into institutional care. He has a waiver that allows him to live independently with full-time helpers now, but the budget cuts may cause his aid to drop from $75,000 to $36,000. This is very unfair because no one should be forced to live in an institutional (nursing home) environment. His disability is physical and very serious, but he has lived independently for the past eleven years. I pray that the lawmakers will not destroy his life.
I worry too that should my condition worsen and I need care that my family were not able to provide that such cuts to the programs could send me into a mental facility and I have vowed I will never go to a state institution again. I do not foresee such an event, as I function normally now, but anything could happen and often does.
Seems our government always wants to cut the things that are needed most and take from those who most deserve help. I worry…
My SSDI does not meet our needs already… what will happen if that is cut. My credit is maxed out and I cannot borrow any more. I would love a job, but finding one is practically impossible because no one will hire someone with my condition and my ability to work is questionable. It was not even a possibility the past three years because of my inability to sleep or stay awake on any set schedule. At least that has improved.
Well, I gotta go…
Always, 
Jo Ann
Chronicles 