Stayed up until almost 3:00AM and did not wake until Penny jumped in the bed with me at 11:30AM. She promptly left the room when I got up. It surprises me sometimes that such a small dog can jump as high as my mattress. My bed is the one my parents bought when they first married, so it is about fifty-five or more years old. I love it though the mattress, which is not so old, is about as hard as a rock. I want a new Serta, but it is not in my non-existent budget for now.
Surfed the web quite a lot today. Read some more in The Treasured One. Washed two loads of clothes. Forgot about one of them and just now put it in the dryer. I hope it gets done before I decide to call it a night.
One of my brother’s ponds has a drainage pipe blockage. He and Alex tried to unstop it, but they had no luck. The bad thing is that if it gets too full it might wash out the dam and the road to his house. We live on adjoining properties with about thirty acres total. Living in the country is great unless you need something from town in a hurry… in that case you are out of luck.
The UPS man, at least, knows where we are. My new power supply came for the computer. I haven’t put it in yet though. I am not really comfortable doing hardware work.
Cooked barbequed pork chops, rice, and peas for supper. The pork chops turned out really tender and good. Maybe I am getting used to cooking again. Don’t think I like it though. I do it because I should not because I want to.
Alex’s father called tonight. He has stopped communicating with the woman who shot herself in the stomach again… so he called me. At least this time he asked to talk to Alex, too. He rarely sees or talks to our son. I think he may decide he wants me to start seeing him again since we are both unattached, but I do not think it is happening. I really need to leave the men of my past in my past. They just are not that good for me.
My first husband seemed okay until after we were married when I was sixteen. He began to use drugs heavily and then began to abuse me a little. Then in the end he gave me an overdose of drugs that almost killed me. The doctors and nurses all said it was a miracle I survived. That was back in 1981 when I was first diagnosed with Schizophrenia. We divorced and I spent years putting my life back together. I have seen this man a few times, like when he walked into the convenience store I managed a few years ago, and every time he gets within yards of me my blood runs cold and stomach clenches. You do not get over being almost killed… you can forgive, but the body remembers.
That story reminds me of the time one of my lovers picked up a pistol and played Russian Roulette with the darn thing pointed at my head. By the third spin I was out of the bed and running away. I was only a teen, but I could not tell my parents. In fact, I only revealed it to my mom in the last year or two. She says she wishes she had known when it happened, but that would not have worked. There were too many secrets I had to keep.
That is enough of my past for the night. I am happy I am alive to write this today… it is a miracle and I thank God for my survival.
Hope you have a great Sunday…
Always,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 
only one word JoAnn….WOW…Stay strong!Dar
Thanks for the comment Darlene. I try to be strong… my counselors tell me I am one of the strongest people they have ever met. I fight for happiness and peace everyday. Most times I do okay. My life is pretty good. I am very blessed. Have lots of prayer warriors keeping me in their prayers, and that helps tremendously. I will be putting a little more history in the blog from time to time. I think it is a story worth sharing partly because most people have no comprehension of what Schizo-Affective disorder is and partly because I have lived in interesting times. Thanks for reading…Always,Jo Ann