Went to bed around 2:00AM but had to get up and take the pesky contacts out so I probably was asleep by 2:45AM. My brother called Mom a little before 9:00AM and woke me up. I decided I might as well stay awake.
Alex is out of school today for a teacher’s workday. I think it is neat that he has Valentine’s Day off.
Happy Valentine’s Day by the way.
I wrote a little about my ancient history on the 12th and I thought it might be interesting for you to know more about it. So here goes…
After my first divorce I was in and out of the hospital a good bit because of my Schizophrenia. I even spent some time in the state mental institution… that was awful and no matter what happens I will never go back there. One little incident that happened there is worth telling… now I was really out of my head at the time and when I am I take everything very literally. People on the ward had been stealing my clothes, something that commonly goes on there. They kept sleeping in my bed too, and I kept having to change rooms. But anyway, on the ward you had to wash your own clothes. So one day, mind you I was about nineteen at the time, staff tells me to wash up all my clothes. I was very compliant so I put all my clothes in the washer and because people were stealing my clothes I climbed on top of the washer and sat there while it was washing. I guess someone on staff noticed I was missing and came to find me. Imagine their shock when they found me stark naked sitting on top of the washing machine. They asked what I was doing as they dressed me in hospital gowns and I told them, "I am washing all my clothes as I was told." I am sure they decided to be more careful with their instructions after that. Now that incident is a legend in my immediate family and it makes me laugh nowadays. Being mental can sometimes lead to humorous results, but mostly it is just damn inconvenient.
I hated my medication at the time because I was on Thorazine and I did not stay on it for long. I functioned pretty normally off of it and managed to go to work. I worked as a cashier at K-Mart for about two years part-time and then worked as head cashier at Piccadilly restaurant for awhile. I met my second husband there… he was my best work friend’s on again off again boyfriend and she and I were sharing an apartment. One night he was staying over and some other friends had taken my bed… sound familiar… anyway I went in their room to sleep on the floor. Sometime during my sleep at the bottom of the bed near his feet he realized I had no cover and covered me up.
We did not see each other for a long while. I was involved with someone very special for a time and even lived with him for a time. I quit working at Piccadilly during that time and went to work as a horticultural technician taking care of plants all over metro Atlanta. The guy and I broke up and I left one day while he was at work. I lost my job too, because his mother had helped me get it.
My future husband and I saw each other again sometime around then and he asked me out. We went rafting on the Chattahoochee River and had a blast. I think the Bacardi 151 I was drinking may have had a little to do with it, but I was hooked. We started seeing each other regularly and eventually got engaged. He asked me to come live with him in Chattanooga while we were preparing to get married and I went. Turned out the wedding kept being delayed. I even moved to North Carolina for awhile with my job. I came back to stay with him and got another job downtown. Somewhere during this time I became pregnant… he wanted me to get an abortion and I refused. I don’t believe in abortion for me… you can do what you like and I won’t judge you, but abortion is something I cannot deal with. He offered me a two year trial marriage so that the baby would have his name and so I did not have to leave and because I was young and stupid I agreed.
That happened in 1987 and Alex was born in 1988. I am so glad I did not abort my baby. He means the world to me. I do not know what would have become of me had I not had Alex. When things get really bad his dependence on me helps me carry on.
When Alex was about a year old things started getting bad and by the time he was eighteen months his father had divorced me. I consequently had another full blown breakdown and had to be hospitalized. I went on medication a little while, but hated it and quit taking it after a while. I just do not like being a zombie.
Well, that is probably enough for now. I have some stuff I should probably do… catch you again later.
Always,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 