Could not fall asleep last night until after 3:00AM. Woke up at 7:00AM and took Alex to the bus. Came back and tried to stay awake, but lost the battle and slept until 11:00AM.
Mom went on a trip today with the seniors group at church, so I was alone in the house a while. I did not do anything exciting this time… just worked with the computer. Sometimes when she is gone I crank the stereo up loud and listen to the Rolling Stones. Real rebellious activity, I gotta tell you.
I was getting ready to leave the house when Mom returned. I had to go pick Alex up at school and take him to his pediatrician for his flu shot. Usually I run early for all appointments, but today we were five minutes late because I was occupied in my thoughts and took the wrong road. I think I was running on autopilot at the time. That direction went to Mom’s doctor instead of Alex’s.
We arrived at the office at 3:35PM and finally left at 5:20PM. It is a good thing I always carry a book to read at appointments or I would have been bored to death.
We stopped at Krystal and bought a sack-full of the tasty little burgers. Alex loves Krystals. The whole sack was gone before we reached the house. That kid can eat… I had three burgers out of a sack of twelve.
When we came in it was about 6:15PM. I logged in on the computer and read some news. I was very grateful to be free of cooking for the evening. Time escaped me, as it often does.
After my serious breakdown in 1997 I was finally awarded disability benefits. I think the fact that I did something so crazy as cutting off all my hair made them realize I was messed up in a big way. I cut off my hair because voices told me if I did that I would immediately go to heaven… no sense to it, but there usually isn’t when I am in bad shape.
I lost my Buick Riviera after damaging the transmission. I left it on the road and walked off. I was so messed up that day that a stranger called an ambulance to come get me at a store where I had stopped walking to get a drink of water. I had no ID and could not get them to believe me about anything. Wound up in the hospital and Alex wound up having to go live with his father for three months. The divorce was still in process and I had no real residence because it was only a matter of time before I was evicted from the apartment where my husband had stayed. After the divorce was over I moved in with Mom and went to Mental Health for treatment. I was a basket case for about a year.
It was a glad day for me when I was allowed to have a car again. About a year after I began to drive I decided to call my ex and see if we might get back together. We began to talk often in secret. My family was very angry with my ex because he had left me with all the debt we had accumulated which amounted to close to $80,000.00 and because he tried to keep much of what we had acquired. The divorce left me basically indigent. Although I did get much of my stuff back.
We talked and talked, then he asked to see me.
I think I will leave the story there for tonight. I need to try to get some sleep.
Take care,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 