Went to sleep around 1:30AM and woke up at 7:00AM. Alex was sore all over and feeling lousy probably from his flu shot so he stayed home. I went back to bed and slept until 11:00AM.
I logged on the computer and completed five lessons in my online classes. I enjoyed learning something new. Maybe I will understand XP a little better when I finish that course. The other three classes cover material I am already somewhat familiar with but are good anyway.
I think I may have messed up an installation I did today. I hope it does not do too much damage.
I managed to score over 63,000 points in BeJeweled 2 Deluxe this evening. That was 40,000 better than my next highest score. I am getting a little better at thinking a few moves ahead. I doubt I beat that score for a while.
I cooked tonight. We had steak, rice, and sugar snap peas. I think maybe next week I am going to try to introduce some other vegetables. Maybe if I cook it Alex will eat it. I can hope so anyway.
Getting back to the story of my reunion with my third husband. We met and went to his house. It was not very long before we wound up in each others arms… and then made love. I went back home to mother’s and found myself locked out of the house. I got in that night… then the next day she forced me to reveal that I had seen him. When she found out she went nuts and called my brother. He came down and told me, "You are lower than dog-shit." I was given the ultimatum to never talk to my ex or see him again or get out of Mom’s house for good. I was very very upset. I went to my counselor for an emergency session and called my ex from there. He said for me to come stay with him. So we wound up back together. Alex was out of town at the time with his father so we had a weekend to plan. We rented a truck and his son and some of his friends helped Alex and I move all our stuff.
Within weeks we found out I was pregnant with twins. I went off my medication. Then I started hemorrhaging. I had to go on complete bed-rest and could hardly eat anything at all. We learned that the twin baby girls had Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome which is very serious and only affects identical twins. I was in the neo-natal specialist office watching a sonogram when the smaller twin died. I was about five months pregnant at the time and my love came to the office to calm me. The neonatologist advised that we terminate the pregnancy. I was very sick and had been losing strength daily, but I did not want to give up my little girl. We went home and agonized over the decision for a week. In the end we decided to terminate because there was almost no chance of my baby being okay… and my love was afraid he was going to lose me. After we made the decision my OBGYN refused to deliver the babies if we terminated my pregnancy. His office gave me the unpleasant duty of calling an abortion clinic. That was almost more than I could handle. Finally another doctor in that practice, a woman, who was more understanding of what we were going through agreed to deliver my girls. I cried through the procedure where the doctor stopped my baby’s heart. I know that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Later my twins were delivered. I got to see them and saw that I had made the right choice… but I still regret it and feel guilty about it. They would have been so beautiful if things had not gone so wrong. I miss them every day.
That is as far as I can go tonight… I have not told that story in a long time and it still hurts. I will let you go for now.
Take care,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 