It is Monday, but it does not feel like Monday because Alex is home from school. I like days when he gets to stay home, because he is my best buddy and I feel like public school is just organized day care anyway. He learns more when he is with me. I home-schooled Alex for a year back when he was in third grade. The child never liked public school again and says most of what he learned that is important, like how to learn, he got in that one year with me. I had a breakdown and could not continue at the time, and my family felt like socialization was too important for me to do it again when I was able. Alex wishes I had home-schooled him more. I do too, I think it would have meant so much to both of us and I figure he would have learned much more.
Went to bed at 2:00AM and woke from a bad dream at 11:00AM. I unfortunately have a lot of nightmares. I am glad I do not always remember them.
I surfed around to some of my favorite blogs. I think I am going to have to add some more to my list here. Seems like I keep meeting interesting people on Spaces. This network is incredible. I cannot express how much this experience has meant to me. I had a web site before, but the community here means so much more. Blogging brings people into your life and makes them friends as you share your lives with one another. That makes it very special. I never imagined I would feel so supported because of blogging in cyberspace. I mean I always knew computers were excellent tools for interaction, but not since I was on Prodigy in the early nineties have I felt part of a community on-line. I wish I was as comfortable with "real" social interaction as I am on here.
I am going to finish reading Thunder and Lightning today. I only had four pages left when I had to go to bed because my eyes were closing on me. This book was an incredibly fast read. Natalie has a magical quality to her writing.
Mom cooked home-made french fries for our lunch and put onions in mine. I love such things. Reminds me of going to Six Flags as a kid and eating fries in the park. Those days were lots of fun and some of my earliest independent experiences. I had season passes all through my pre-teen and teenage years. I remember the loneliness that I felt there at times too, though. I never was easy with strangers.
I remember my first year in kindergarten. Every day that year I would cry for an hour or so after mother left me, because I was afraid she would not come back. Afraid that something awful would happen and I would never see her and my family again. I think that separation anxiety has something to do with my irrational adult fear that everyone will go to heaven in the rapture and I will be left behind. I know I hate that feeling. You know in hindsight I think if the adults in my life had been a little more aware that someone might have realized something was going on with me at an early age. My behavior was not exactly normal.
I will try to come back later with something more inspirational.
TTYL,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 