This is meant to be a funny story and I mean no slights to anyone. It happened to me years ago and nowadays I take care of such things myself again, but I think it is worth sharing without too much editing.
The Evening I Met the Primordial Force
Electricity
I am the average woman. I regulate some tasks to the men in my life, but when they do not accomplish what I desire, I endeavor to do it myself. This time I acted because he was not home, and I had to have this done immediately.
The bathroom fixture blossomed tulip like with three 100-watt bulbs and two were blown. As I am a creature of light, this wanted correction.
I plucked the first bulb out with no difficulty and replaced it. The second came unscrewed from the base leaving the metal in the socket. I turned off the power.
Alex, my son, brought a Mag-Lite® and I began working with the pliers. The base only bent, not coming out. I worked with it for what were moments, but seemed hours, to no avail.
The light was insufficient to see properly. Alex stood on the green tile by the door. I told him to turn on the lights, and obedient boy he is, he did so.
The counter was high and I was kneeling on its damp marbleized surface. My feet were bare and I was wearing blue jean shorts and a tank top with petite floral decoration. When the light blazed on I was stretched upward reaching the pliers to within a few centimeters of the offending fixture.
I should have known better, for my brother came near electrocution years ago in a machine shop. Improper ground is dangerous.
The current arced from the fixture to my implement and entered my body with a sizzle. I screamed as I instinctively jumped backward. The sparks and the shock terrified me.
Alex asked with a trembling waver, “Mom, are you alright?”
I looked at the blackened end of the pliers and then to the pale face of my sweet child, “Yes, I think so. That was an electrifying experience.”
Alex grinned, “Yeah Mom, scared me good. I thought you were going to fly for a second. Did you see the sparks?”
“Ah huh, and heard the sizzle pop too. I could have been dead. It hurt,” I replied.
“Let’s tell God thanks,” I said quietly and we prayed together.
After we fell silent, Alex told me, “Mom, I think that should be the last time you change a light bulb. I am telling Dad what happened when he gets home.”
I sighed, “Do you have to do that?”
“If you will tell him, I won’t say anything,” he bargained.
Therefore, I told my husband when he came home from work. He changed light bulbs from that day forward.
We all find this amusing now. It is one of the tales of my surprising ability to make accidents happen.
I met the primordial force: Electricity. I respect power now, and act in such ways that I do not provoke it.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
April 13, 2000
Chronicles 