Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-three – Children

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

 

Children are a blessing from God. They are undeserved gifts. Often they come to us unplanned. They are a grace come to us unmerited. A baby is a blank slate that parents write upon with their deeds and words. Children learn from us without reservation. They take in everything we do or fail to do. Their hearts and minds are imprinted with our love or lack thereof. They grow to mimic us in the way they live their lives. If we are kind and loving, their lives reflect it. Our care and concern shows in their treatment of others.

 

I tried to have a child for years, but did not become pregnant. I came to believe I could not have a child. Then unplanned I became pregnant. I knew when I found out I was carrying a child that I would not give it up. No matter how Richard pushed for an abortion, I was steadfast that I would have my child. I was afraid I might not have another chance at motherhood. When I learned my baby was a boy I was full of joy, although Richard had by then decided a girl would be okay, but he did not want a boy. I went to Lamaze classes and learned all I could about babies. I knew a lot already because there had always been little ones in the house as I grew up. My Mom babysat for extra money. When it was determined that I would need a c-section I was disappointed. The baby was too big for me to deliver naturally. I was afraid of the surgery, but I was glad the baby would come safely. I was very happy when Alex was delivered and I held him in my arms. He was beautiful and I was blessed. From the day I brought him home, my life revolved around him. I read to him and cherished him as if he were the most important person in the world. In fact, he was most important to me. As I watched him grow I marveled at the miracle of his life. Every day he developed a little more. He became his own person and I was elated. He learned new things and as he grew I thanked God for his intelligence and personality. Those days went quickly and soon years had gone by. He grew from a little boy who adored me, to a teenager who called me his friend, and then he became the adult who wants me to respect his freedom. It has been a wonderful journey through the years with Alex. I am so thankful I was blessed to share my life with this wonderful human being. He continually makes me proud.

 

I would like to share a poem I wrote for him…

 

Uncommon Grace

 

When I look upon your face

I see God’s outstanding grace

Embodied in you,

Given to me.

 

Oh what a blessing

To have a child like you,

Because there are few

Who do as you do.

 

Making me proud

Every step of the way,

By the actions you take

Every single day.

 

You are a true gift from God

So precious and dear,

Who grows in worth

From year to year.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

 

I wish that every person who has a child would receive him or her as a gift. Every child should grow up surrounded by love. It does not matter so much what a child has materially, the important thing is being cherished. Children grow to love and respect others as they are loved and respected. May the Lord be with all children born.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

It has been a while since I updated. Things have been very busy here. My brother James has been very ill with cancer in his adrenal gland. I have spent a lot of time trying to help out with his care and things he needs done.

 

Mom fell and had a deep bone bruise and strain in her right leg. She is doing much better.

 

Alex came back to the United States from Iraq on August 17th. We stayed in touch the whole time he was deployed through MSN Messenger. That made his being gone much easier. He was home on leave from September 3rd to September 16th. We spent a lot of time together and had a great time.

 

I am doing well. Today I wrote a poem I want to include. I came up with the first four lines while I was driving home from town earlier and finished it in Word here at home.

 

Uncommon Grace

 

When I look upon your face

I see God’s outstanding grace

Embodied in you,

Given to me.

 

Oh what a blessing

To have a child like you,

Because there are few

Who do as you do.

 

Making me proud

Every step of the way,

By the actions you take

Every single day.

 

You are a true gift from God

So precious and dear,

Who grows in worth

From year to year.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan   

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

 

 

I hope each of you is doing well.

 

I am sorry it has been so long since I posted, but it seems that life happens and I do not seem to get around to updating often.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

My television shows were very good and I went to bed at about 11:30 last night. I woke up at 8:45 this morning. I took Hope to the kitchen/laundry room and tied her up. I ate a piece of pecan pie and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I untied Hope.

 

I called the library and renewed my books.

 

Mom wanted to get her haircut. She called Great Clips to see if our stylist was in today and if she was working tomorrow. Haircuts are only $8.00 for seniors on Wednesday. Our stylist was working today, but not tomorrow. We decided we would go to town today.

 

I got dressed and packed my cooler. I tied Hope up. I packed my tote bag with items to entertain me while I sit and wait. We drove into town. At Great Clips Mom walked in and went straight back to have her haircut. It never happened that way before. We were very fortunate. Mom gave our stylist one of her hand painted angels. Lesley loved it. She said she was an angel lover. While Lesley cut Mom’s hair, I read in The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. I did not get much reading done.

 

We went to Lowe’s and returned one roll of weather stripping Mom bought last week. We found some thinner weather stripping and Mom bought it.

 

We went by our church and Mom paid for our tickets to the Lottie Moon Auction. I am going with her so that she has a way there and back. I guess it will be okay for me to be at a senior function. Normally I would take her and come home, but she is not sure she could get a ride home.

 

When we came home I let Hope loose. Mom started weather stripping the doors. It still did not work right, but it was better than the stuff she had before. I helped her a little.

 

I ate turnip greens and cornbread with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for lunch.

 

I read some more in The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett.

 

I watched Oprah with Mom today because it was her Favorite Things show. I was surprised that she did not have a new iPod as one of her favorite things. I guess Apple did not give her enough promotion money this year.

 

I watched Dr. Phil with Mom. I guess I am going to watch it tomorrow too. This is a three-part show.

 

I ate a ham, cheese, and homegrown tomato sandwich with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

Generous

 

She gives without any thought

Of anything in return

To people who rarely touch

The fabric of her life.

 

She gives so much

When she has so little

With which to purchase

The splendid gifts.

 

She gives of herself

And wants to do even more

Because she loves others

Without ever stinting.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© November 20, 2007

 

I hope to read some more before going to bed. Hope each of you has a good evening.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I wrote the following poem using these words: worry, others, opinions, fail.

 

True Worth

 

When you worry about

The opinions of others

You fail to see your true self.

 

Your opinions are

As important as others

Though you worry you may fail.

 

If you worry, you fail

To see others outside

Their opinions of themselves.

 

Opinions fail to tell

The whole story of others

Who worry about impressions.

 

Others offer their opinions

But you fail to worry

Because you believe in yourself.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© November 12, 2007

 

8:15 was my wake up time this morning. Hope was lying next to me and started licking my face when I stirred. I carried her to the kitchen/laundry room and tied her to her leash. I ate a doughnut and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I turned Hope loose.

 

June called Mom and told her that her car was acting up. Mom gave her the number of a repair shop I had used. James called and wanted Mom to go to Carrollton with him. I told Mom that I would be glad to go to the shop if June needed me. She told me to call June and tell her that and she left with James. I called June and found out she could not get the car repaired until Wednesday. We talked a few minutes.

 

I drank several cups of coffee with vanilla syrup.

 

I read some email and checked for comments on my blog.

 

I read in Becoming A Professional Life Coach by Patrick Williams and Diane S. Menendez.

 

A lady called and told me that the pharmaceutical companies might help with Mom’s medicine next year when she is in the Medicare Part D coverage gap. She recommended I seek their help when the time comes next year.

 

I tried to call Leigh, but she did not answer the phone. I have not been able to reach her for over a week and am wondering if something may be wrong.

 

I called Sam’s Mom. We talked a few minutes. She may come down here this weekend and wants to meet with me. I hope it will work out this time.

 

Mom came home and said she was going down to help James split wood with the wood splitter he had just bought. I told her she should eat lunch and she said she would eat some cookies. I asked her if she would eat a sandwich if I fixed it for her. She said yes. I fixed her a bologna and cheese sandwich with mustard. She ate the sandwich. Mom went to help James.

 

I ate a bologna, cheese, and homegrown tomato sandwich with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for lunch.

 

I unpackaged the CDs I bought last week. I loaded them into iTunes.

 

I tied Hope up so she would not bother Penny while I was out of the house.

 

I went down to the field where Mom, James, and Alicia were splitting wood. I started helping. After about an hour I came back to the house to get something to drink. I took a water down to Mom. James said I should have brought he and Alicia some ice for their water. I took their container back to the house, put ice in it, and got a bottle of water for Alicia. We split wood for another hour. James cut up more wood with the chainsaw and we split that up. I was picking up blocks of wood that must have weighed sixty pounds a piece and helping James get those on the splitter. By the time we quit James’ back was hurting. I was quite tired.

 

I took my shower because I was hot and sweaty even though it was a fairly cool day.

 

I loaded the music I had transferred into iTunes onto my iPod.

 

I ate leftover lasagna with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

I am going to watch Chuck, Heroes, and Journeyman tonight so I am trying to get this posted early.

 

I hope Alex is having a good time at the Marine Corps Birthday Ball.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I woke up at 8:15, took Hope to the kitchen/laundry room, and tied her up. I ate a doughnut and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. Mom had gone to Sunday school and Church. I decided to lay back down and woke up at 10:15.

 

I checked email and for comments on the blog.

 

I read a few pages in Becoming A Professional Life Coach by Patrick Williams and Diane S. Menendez. I do not expect to become a life coach, but I think I might learn something useful for my life.

 

I vacuumed the house.

 

Hope and I walked up to the mailbox and picked up the mail from yesterday. I turned Hope loose when we returned to the house.

 

Mom came home. I ate a bologna, cheese, and homegrown tomato sandwich with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for lunch.

 

I read some more in Becoming A Professional Life Coach. This is a library book and I thought it an interesting topic. I think the active listening techniques and powerful questions might come in handy when interacting with the people in my life.

 

Mom asked me to turn on the music so I played the iPod through the Bose SoundDock.

 

I helped Mom go through the Christmas presents and find some to specific people. I tried to help her find some things she had misplaced, but we could not find them.

 

I checked email and read some web sites.

 

I picked Hope up and carried her around for a while. She gets very heavy after some minutes. She only weighs about thirteen pounds, but after you carry her around a bit she becomes heavy.

 

I read some more in Becoming A Professional Life Coach.

 

I ate a leftover biscuit and sausage and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

I watched America’s Funniest Videos or some of it at least. Mom wanted to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I watched the beginning of it and the end.

 

Mindfulness

 

A moment comes;

I realize it is a special time

When I can be aware

Of all that is my life.

 

I linger in awe

That so much is mine

To have, to do, to become

In this moment.

 

I rest in the pleasure

Of knowing abundance

Is opening up for me

In every single moment.

 

I am alive

This moment is alive

There is a profusion of things

For which to be thankful.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© November 11, 2007

 

I unfortunately have not been working on my NanoWriMo novel. I am afraid I am not going to be able to complete 50,000 words in November. I am just too totally stuck.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

Alex and I chatted for a while late last night. He says he is coming home for a week at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am glad he is coming for Thanksgiving. I was not sure he would have the time off. He is enjoying playing Guild Wars now that he quit World of Warcraft. He says Guild Wars is actually a better game. He likes the way he can develop characters. I bought Guild Wars for him when it first came out and he did not like it. I am glad he finds it interesting now.

 

I woke up at 8:15. Hope and I left the bed quickly. I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I also drank several cups of coffee with vanilla syrup.

 

I checked email and made a reply to a comment on my blog.

 

James called Mom and asked her to come up and stay with him while he cleaned the two deer he shot this morning.

 

I read a couple of chapters in Coming To Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

 

Mom called and wanted me to call Kroger and Publix to check prices on pork tenderloin. I called Sam’s to see if they sold it. It was $2.88 a pound there. Mom called back and wanted me to call Hudson’s to find out the price of a gallon of barbeque sauce. I told her Sam’s had the tenderloin, but she still wanted me to call Kroger to check their price. I called Hudson’s and found a gallon of sauce cost $10.00. Then I called Kroger and found their price for tenderloin was $3.99 a pound. I called Mom and she said they wanted a gallon of barbeque sauce. She said to get the tenderloin at Sam’s.

 

I drove into town and stopped at Texaco for gas. My gas gauge does not work so I have to be careful to keep gas in the car. I bought almost $20.00 of gas. I picked up Mom’s tenderloin and a gallon of milk at Sam’s. I drove to Hudson’s and bought a gallon of barbeque sauce.

 

I drove up to James’ and delivered the tenderloin and sauce. James had deer on the grill pit. Mom unpackaged the tenderloin and he added it to the grill. I went home because I needed to put the milk in the refrigerator.

 

I checked my blog buddies blogs and commented on several of them that had new entries.

 

Mom came home to get dishes and spices. She told me James said it would be two or three hours before the meat was ready. After she left I put a Lean Cuisine roasted potatoes with broccoli and cheese sauce in the microwave. James called a few minutes later and asked if I wanted some deer barbeque. I said yes and he told me to bring a plate and come up there. I waited for the microwave to finish and took three Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Colas with me. I dropped my car keys on the way to the car and did not realize it. I got to the car and thought I might have dropped the keys in the house to which I had locked the door. I walked toward the house and found the keys. I was relieved. I drove up to James. Alicia asked me if I brought her some of the roasted potatoes and I had to tell her no. She asked if I had another drink because she cannot drink the regular cokes James drinks. She is diabetic. I went to the car and brought her a drink.

 

I ate some of the deer with barbeque sauce. It was delicious. After I ate I cut up some of the meat. We filled a pot Mom had brought. Mom and I asked if it was okay for us to leave even though all the meat was not cooked. James said yes and that I should take the pot full of deer meat. I came home and put the meat into storage containers. I decided to take Alicia a twelve pack of Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Colas. Hope and I drove up to James with them. Alicia was very happy to get the drinks and thanked me profusely. James gave me some more deer meat. I drove to the mailbox and collected a letter. It was hard toting Hope, the meat, and the letter to the house, but I managed to make it. I put the meat in the freezer.

 

Mom cooked a pound cake so that she would have some to take to James.

 

I took my shower and dressed in my pajamas. I ate some barbeque deer for supper. I ate a piece of pound cake too. It was very good.

 

Choosing Goodness

 

I am learning

It is easier

To pay attention

When I am mindful

Of what is going on

Around me.

 

I can expect

Good things

To happen

When I am

Open to their

Goodness.

 

My life is

One long

Experience

Of ongoing

Happiness

When I choose it.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© October 25, 2007

 

I read some more in Coming To Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

Mom called me at 7:30. Hope and I got up. I ate two pieces of toast and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I drank one cup of coffee before we left.

 

We arrived at the Ford dealership at 8:30 for a 9:00 appointment. The Explorer was taken into the service bay quickly. I started reading Become a Better You by Joel Osteen in the waiting room. Two other people came in and started talking. We talked about the water shortage and the fact it was raining. One of the women commented on the book I was reading. I told her it was very good.

 

The Explorer was serviced and returned to us by 10:00. I drove home and Mom directed me. I thought she had given me wrong directions, but it turned out right.

 

I let Hope loose when we came inside the house. She was very happy to see us and jumped around excitedly. I had to tie her back up because she was gnawing on Penny’s ear.

 

Mom tried to put bottles in my toilet so that it would not use as much water, but the bottles would not allow the toilet to function correctly. I took them out.

 

Mom cooked pork chops, cornbread, and Margaret Holmes seasoned turnip greens for lunch. She put hot peppers in the cornbread and I could not eat it. The rest of the meal was very good.

 

I read some more in Become a Better You. I checked email and wrote some replies.

 

I took my shower so that I would be free to watch my television shows tonight.

 

I wrote the following poem using these words: nature, sacred, heal, create.

 

Blessed Features

 

I think of nature

As a sacred gift

With the power

To create peace inside

And let me heal.

 

The nature of my illness

Makes me aware of the sacred

In daily moments and I heal

As I create art and poetry

Out of my experience.

 

The sacred qualities

In my nature work

To create healing

In the world outside

And inside of me.

 

I create and heal

Because I am entrusted

With the sacred endowment

That nature bestows

On every one of us.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© October 22, 2007

 

I ate a pork chop for supper. It was very good even though I ate it cold.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I woke up at 6:15. I took Hope to the laundry room/kitchen and tied her up. I ate a brownie and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I was sleepy and went back to bed leaving Hope tied up. I woke up again at 8:30.

 

I checked my email and wrote replies. I did three HP Learning Center lessons on Outlook 2003. I learned about calendar, tasks, notes, and journal. I do not use these features, but now I can if I want to do so.

 

I unpacked the bead set I bought at Sam’s. It was wrapped very securely. I wanted to use the set but could not find any instructions on tying the clasps to the string.

 

I ate a bologna, cheese, and tomato sandwich. The tomato was out of the garden. There are few tomatoes now.

 

Mom wanted to cook a pound cake. I helped her read the recipe. When she began to put sugar in she found the container had ants in it. We had to go to the convenience store and buy a five pound bag of sugar. Before she put the cake in the oven the recipe said to tap it on the counter five times. This eliminates air bubbles. The cake did not fall as most of Mom’s pound cakes do. I think the tapping is the reason it did not fall.

 

Hope and I rode up to the mailbox and retrieved yesterday and today’s mail.

 

I tried to string some beads on some of the line contained in the set. It unraveled. I tried some line I had purchased at another time. It unraveled. I finally strung the beads on fishing line. It worked well. I made a necklace for Mom. She wanted one to go with a new shirt she bought last week. It was a hassle working with the beads. I rather write. I have many beads with which to make projects so I should work with them more. I want to make some bookmarks with beads. Necklaces are harder to make and I do not like them. Mom said she would pay me for making more necklaces for her if I enjoyed doing it. I told her I did not like it. I may do it anyway to make some money.

 

I do not understand how anyone can be cruel to a puppy. The news showed a story about drug dealers using puppies to smuggle drugs. They cut the puppies open, insert the drugs, sew them up, and then open them up at the drug destination. I think these people should be jailed for a long time. Hope is so dear to me. It makes me sick to think of anyone doing anything so heinous to her.

 

I wrote the following poem using these words: sleep, friend, visible, night.

 

Sleep

 

My friends are visible

Until night comes down

Allowing me to sleep.

 

I love the night

Like a visible friend

Who leads me into sleep.

 

In the safety of my bed

Invisible to my friends

I sleep in the night.

 

Sleep is a good friend

That lets me leave the visible

And slip into the night.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© October 18, 2007

 

I chatted with Alex a few moments. I did not want to bug him so I just asked how he was doing and told him I love him. He said he was good and told me he loves me too. I wish he would come home for Thanksgiving, but I do not think he will come until Christmas.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I woke up at 7:45 this morning. Hope was excited to get out of bed. I ate a brownie and drank a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast.

 

I checked email and wrote some replies. I am enjoying my participation in the JournalWriting group. I am hoping to meet some of group face to face in November.

 

Hope behaved well this morning. I only tied her as we left for Mom’s appointment. We went to Mom’s dermatologist and he froze some precancerous cells on her hands. I have a sun blister on my lip from being out Thursday. I asked the dermatologist if he could recommend anything for it. He said he could prescribe a cream if I was a patient. I asked if they could work me in and they said yes. I filled out paperwork and was taken back very quickly. He looked at my lip and examined my moles. He gave me a tube of cream and said use it twice a day.

 

We went by the bank for Mom to deposit the check from Alex. We filled up the Explorer and the five gallon can with gasoline at Texaco. Gas was only $2.50 a gallon, which was much better than the price had been in months. The library was our next stop. I turned in my books and checked them out again. I also added a few new arrivals. We went to Hudsons for a barbeque lunch. I did not get sauce on my clothes for once.

 

We went to Borders and shopped. I found five books I wanted. I was very happy I had $50.00 in gift cards. I bought Write is a Verb by Bill O’Hanlon, Living Artfully by Sandra Magsamen, By Cunning & Craft by Peter Selgin, Creativity for Life by Eric Maisel, and Coming To Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I am looking forward to reading these books.

 

When we arrived home, I let Hope loose. My pile of clothes had fallen over so I had to stack them up again. I took some of the jeans to Alex’s closet so the stack would not be so high and likely to tumble over. Mom cleaned up the Explorer for us to drive James to the hospital tomorrow. The Explorer was not dirty. I checked email and read some in Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark.

 

Hope and I walked to the mailbox and collected the day’s mail. The neighbor’s dogs came out and ran around Hope, but she did not bark at them. Hope is a very quiet dog, she barks very little.

 

Alex called to tell me he is being considered for top-secret clearance again. He was very happy about this development. I was surprised he called again. He must not have meant to be rude when he told me to leave him alone. He says he had a bad week.

 

I ate a bologna and cheese sandwich for supper. Mom did not eat all her roasted potatoes with broccoli and cheese sauce. She gave half of it to me and I ate it.

 

I wrote the following poem using these words: pause, reflect, unfolding, years.

 

Reflection

 

Sometimes in the daily rush

From one thing to another

I pause to reflect on

The significance of the moments

Unfolding into fast passing years.

 

When I pause it seems only

Days ago I was unfolding clothes

For my infant son whose face

Reflects much of my own,

But it has been nineteen years.

 

As days unfold I pause

In quiet reflection

To hope and pray

That God will protect my son

Through his Marine Corps years.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© October 16, 2007

 

 

Mom started searching for her sweaters and I went to her room to help her. We did not find many. I think she may have sent a tote with sweaters in it to the storage building. She does not think so.

 

I checked email and wrote this entry. I hope all of you are well and having a good week.

 

Always,

Jo Ann