Creative Journal – Entry Five – God

Friday, October 16, 2009

 

God is central to my life. I deeply believe in God’s existence. I grew up in a home where God was held dear. We regularly went to church. I am a Christian, but find myself at odds with some of the commonly held positions of my denomination. I have grown to be open-minded and find fundamentalist beliefs stifling. God, to me, is understanding, loving, and not constrained by the narrow-minded beliefs of mankind.

 

I believe that all people should have the right to live in relationships as they desire. I believe that any two people who love each other, are dedicated to a permanent union, and desire to be married should be allowed that privilege. I believe women should have the right to choose what happens to and in their bodies. I do not support abortion as a means of birth control, but I believe a woman should be allowed to terminate a pregnancy if she has not the means to support or the capacity to love a baby. I also believe when there is a hazard to mother or child that termination should be an option. I believe that God can forgive all sins, and that even the most heinous acts will not keep a person from Heaven if that person asks for forgiveness. My God shows unconditional love to all people.

 

I know I do not have the capacity to understand the full character of God. He surpasses my ideas about Him. I believe the Bible as the Word of God, but I do not believe I have a full understanding of all it means. I believe the Bible is open to interpretation under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I think no human being should claim to fully understand the Bible. God is love and people who act in love embody His character. People are the instruments God uses to carry out His will in the world. Each person is a child of God.

 

Jesus is the embodiment of God and showed us how we should treat others. If we all loved one another as ourselves like Jesus instructs the world would be a much better place to live in. We should not judge each other, but relate to one another in loving ways.

 

God is supreme, and I am but a person trying to understand His ways. I do not pretend to know everything about God, but I know He loves me.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry Four – Following Instructions

Thursday, October 15, 2009

 

Following instructions can be a difficult thing for me. I am independent and like to do things my own way. As I work my way through the exercises in Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick sometimes I resist the instructions. I am doing the exercises my way. I think how I do exercises should be my choice. I am the one who bought the book so I think I should be able to use it as I see fit.

 

Sometimes I do not follow the exact instructions in recipes. Today I made smoothies in the HealthMaster and substituted nectarines for a mango. We had nectarines in the house and we did not have a mango. I think the smoothies were actually better today than when I made the ones with the mango.

 

When following instructions is very important, as in driving a vehicle or operating machinery, I do as instructed. I am very careful to do exactly as instructed when there is danger if I do not comply.

 

Following instructions was easier when I was younger. I did not mind doing schoolwork as instructed. I was well disciplined and listened to my parent’s instructions. There were definite consequences if I did not mind. I did not like spankings so there was additional incentive to do as I was told. Being good was not hard for me because I knew if I misbehaved that I would feel the belt. I rarely received spankings, but I well remember the hurt of the ones I did get.

 

Alex grew up only getting a couple of spankings. Usually I could reason with him and he would follow my suggestions. I tried to be flexible with him and only gave him mandatory instructions when there was danger involved. He was a very good kid and has grown up to be a very responsible adult.

 

Sometimes I do not read instructions when doing something new or putting things together. I often think I can figure things out on my own. Because I have a wide base of experience, I am usually able to do things without instructions. For instance, I am so familiar with computers that I rarely have to follow instructions when using them. I have been using Microsoft Word since it first came out so even though I bought the latest version I do not have to access help for new features.

 

I do usually follow my Mom’s directions. Even now, I respect her wisdom.

 

I am not a rebel, just like to do things on my own.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry Three – Follow Your Nose

Thursday, October 15, 2009

 

The smell of Mr. Clean with Febreze is drifting around the house. Mom mopped the washroom and kitchen a few minutes ago. The scent is fresh and clean. Soon the smell of Downy will be drifting from the washroom because I am washing a load of reds. Mom brought home a bunch of dirty clothes from her trip and I usually do the washing because I am better at caring for clothes. I do not like ironing so Mom irons her own clothes. I should iron some of mine, but I hate ironing. Mom used to do some ironing for me occasionally, but her legs have gotten weaker and she can hardly stand to iron her own clothes. Mom has neuropathy in her legs and feet. She cannot feel her feet most of the time and stumbles quite often.

 

A jar candle is burning and when I walk past it, I can smell its sweet scent. Mom must have lit it before I woke up this morning. She woke up about 7:00 and I did not get up until 8:15. I guess I was exhausted from not sleeping much over the past few days. I think Ko-Ko was to blame for my sleeping less. She woke me repeatedly during the nights and early mornings. Mom is planning on going off for several days next week so I had better try to catch up on my sleep while I can. I mention the puppy dogs often in my writing because they are such an integral part of my life. That is the reason I shared their pictures with the Journal Writing group today.

 

I am so happy that I became active in the Journal Writing group again. I am enjoying the contact with other members. I have written a journal entry almost every day since becoming a regular contributor again. This is great because I am writing daily. I hope that the practice will soon lead me into writing poetry again. I do not think I have written a poem since I wrote the tribute to my brother, James. I read that at James’ memorial service. I am so glad I chose to share the poem with my brother before he died. He never thought much of my writing, but he said the poem was nice. I think I will include it here.

 

Sonnet to My Hero, My Brother, James

 

Even though the times now grow dreary cold

I cannot deny him his worthy rest

For all his trying days he never sold

His heart out to any worldly request.

 

No matter how harsh the times he ever

Kept his full dignity from being lost,

And throughout rough winter and tough summer

He always counted honor worth the cost.

 

I will find it hard on that tomorrow

When his mortal coil shall finally break,

But shall his soul’s fine example follow

And live my life always fully awake.

 

For he has been my hero true and strong

My brother, I shall revere my lifelong.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Monday, October 13, 2008

 

I probably should write new poems here, but I have not written one in such a long time. I guess I will have to read one of my books on writing poetry. Maybe that would help inspire me. It has been a year and two days since I wrote a poem, that is shameful because poetry is my main creative gift. I should make an effort to write a poem, but I do not seem inspired. I go through periods like this from time to time. Writing every day will help make it easier, I hope.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry Two – Creative Thinking

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

 

Creative thinking is thinking beyond the constraints of what I should, or ought, to think. I am able to travel anywhere in my mind and think of anything I please. I have no limits. Coming up with unique and outlandish thoughts is acceptable and even good. I can write from this place of safety and non-judgment. Sometimes my thoughts get predictable and are not very creative. It is then that I find myself unable to write or create anything of worth. Often I want some inspiration to bring myself into a creative state of mind. My everyday life is not always inspirational and I cannot necessarily pull inspiration into myself.

 

Creative thinking solves problems and moves me beyond my normal experience. It helps me deal with the issues of my life. Even when I am not inspired, some measure of creativity informs my days. I would face infinite boredom were I not a creative person. I have to think creatively to move beyond a constant sense of depression and defeatism. Creative thinking is optimistic, seeing the good in even mundane situations. Creative thinking makes walking Hope on the same path repeatedly into an adventure. It makes the subtle changes in scenery and the attitude of the dog a delight. Creative thinking makes routine tasks interesting and worthwhile. It gives me gifts of insight and encouragement. Ordinary things become extraordinary when viewed creatively. Creative thinking allows me to move outside myself and look at things from different perspectives. I can see more than one side of a problem when I engage creatively.

 

Last night I went to bed about 11:45 and woke at 5:50 this morning. With Mom gone, I have to sleep with both Hope and Ko-Ko. Ko-Ko is only five months old and wants to play early in the morning. She woke me licking my face. Even so, I had a lot more sleep than the night before and I feel better this morning.

 

The funeral for Terry went well yesterday. June is coping well. I feel so sorry for her, but I know Mom’s being with her is a great comfort. I am glad to watch over things here while Mom is away. She will not be coming home until Wednesday afternoon at the earliest.

 

It is nice to have the house to myself. I can do whatever pleases me. I am not too constrained when Mom is home. Some of her habits like running the television so much are a little annoying. She eats on an earlier schedule than I like and I usually feel obliged to eat when she does so we can share our meals. I am listening to more music, and at a higher volume, than I am able to when she is home. I eat when I get hungry and that works well for me too.

 

This morning I finished reading Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. I read the whole book and am going back to do all the excellent exercises. It will take months to finish them. I found this a very inspiring book. I am handling the process a little differently than she suggests. I am journaling on the laptop and she recommends writing free hand in a paper-based journal. She recommends keeping the journal completely private and I am sharing mine with the Journal Writing group. I guess as with most things I have to take what works for me and disregard the rest. I may even eventually post some of what I write here on my blog. I need to bring the blog up to date and post regular entries there. I have rather neglected it for some time.

 

I kept my weekly food journal for one week. It is interesting to look back over what I have eaten. Writing down my consumption limits it. I find it amusing that it works that way, but I do not want to eat as much so I will not have to write down great quantities of food. It would be embarrassing to have a huge list, even with only me looking at the journal. I am one weird person.

 

Well that is all for now. I have to get dressed and walk Hope while there is a break in the rain.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry One – Free Associations
Monday, October 12, 2009

I am reading Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick, which I have had for months, but have not opened since I bought it at Borders. I will be doing exercises from this book. I hope that working through these will cause my creativity to flow. I have not written freely in months.

I am writing more since I began participating in the Journal Writing group frequently. I have been a member of the group for years, but have rarely participated. I decided participating might nudge me in the direction of actually journaling.

Journaling is a form of writing I enjoy, but I think what I am actually aiming for is more creative writing like poetry, stories, essays, and possibly even a novel. I am seriously considering NanoWriMo this year. I only have absolutely no idea what I will write about in the novel. I have the idea I worked on in the past, but I do not know that I could get any further with it this year than I have before.

Mom is gone with June so the puppy dogs and I have the house to ourselves. I have turned the iPod in the SoundDock to some instrumental music, which makes a great background for reading and writing. Steven Halpern’s music is grand accompaniment to quiet pursuits. I have several of his CDs loaded on the iPod. They are somewhat new age and inspirational.

Often when Mom is home, I cannot play music because she runs the television constantly. I am not a television person. This season I have found several shows I like to watch in the evenings, but I feel somewhat like I am wasting my time while watching them. Reading seems much more a worthwhile activity.

I considered again working my way through 40 Days and 40 Nights, which is a Guided Journal by Ilene Segalove. I could not muster the stamina for such an undertaking just now. I loved what I accomplished with it when I used it a few years ago. I have those entries saved on the old desktop computer.

I have found it is easier for me to journal on the computer than free hand. I have some beautiful blank books I have collected over the years, but I hardly used them. The collection just takes up a lot of space in my over cluttered room. I should really stop buying blank books, but seem unable to resist beautiful designs.

The clutter in my room is just about to make it unusable. Over nine years of living here, I have collected a lot of stuff. I seem unable to part with any of it so it just keeps piling up. I guess I am a pack rat. If I had more room, it would not be a bad thing.

The clutter is what had almost completely stopped me from using my old desktop computer. The chair at my desk in there was always full of clothes and I hated having to move them to sit down and compute.

I have many instructional books on writing that I have not read. I pick new ones up from time to time at Borders. I tend to read the library books more frequently because I know they must be returned and I know books I have bought will always be here. It is another of the groups of things I collect.

It is raining here and has been since I woke up at 2:48 this morning. I hope it does not cause flooding like a few weeks ago. I am worried that people who have just begun to recover their lives may face disaster again.

I think I have written enough for now. I do not know that I did the free associations as I should, but I made the attempt.

Always,
Jo Ann

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex deployed to Iraq on February 6th. He came home for some days at the end of January. We enjoyed seeing him. Mom and I drove him back to Cherry Point, North Carolina.

 

Things have been busy here. We have had appointments and errands that had us in town. I went to have my eyes examined last Friday and found out that I had not had an eye exam since 2002. These contacts have lasted a long time.

 

I hope all of you are well. Mom is having some trouble with her stimulator and with pulled tendons in her right ankle. She is wearing the orthopedic boot she wore when she broke her ankle in 2006. I am doing fairly well.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I woke up at 7:30 this morning. I took Hope to the kitchen/laundry room and tied her on her leash. I had two pieces of toast with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. Mom let Hope loose.

 

I moved two wheelbarrows full of dead lily trash to the garden for Mom. She blew leaves off the grassed yard.

 

I finished reading The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley. This book did not overly impress me.

I ate two pieces of pepperoni pizza with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for lunch

 

Mom started dripping wax on pinecones. She is planning baskets of waxed pinecones for the preachers Christmas next year.

 

I started reading World Without End by Ken Follett. This promises to be as good or better than The Pillars of the Earth.

 

I ate a ham and cheese sandwich with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

Alex called. He talked about Call of Duty 4. He loves that game. He played it for six hours today. He talked to me about an hour.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I woke up at 8:00 this morning. Hope started licking my face before I could get out of bed. I carried her to the kitchen/laundry room and tied her on her leash. Mom was cooking apple pies. She gave me a fried biscuit and a apple pie for breakfast. I let Hope loose.

 

Mom took some of the pies up to James and Alicia.

 

I read some in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley. I checked email and for comments on my blog. There have been no comments here for a couple of weeks. I am wondering if anyone is reading here anymore.

 

I tied Hope on her leash. Two of the preachers and the photographer from our church came to visit. Mom gave them birdhouses and crosses that she had painted. I gave them copies of two of my essays. They seemed pleased with the essays. Mom asked if they would like pies and they said yes. They were very impressed by the pies. I think they enjoyed their visit very much.

 

Mom wanted to go to town and get the oil changed in the Explorer. I called the place where we get oil changes to see if they would be able to get to us in a reasonable amount of time. They said there were three cars ahead of us. I packed my cooler and my tote bag. We went to Big 10 Tires. They told us it would be an hour before they would get to the Explorer. I had on a tee shirt and nearly froze in their waiting room. I should have worn a coat. I read some in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley.

 

After the oil was changed, we went to the dry cleaners to drop off two pair of Mom’s pants to be hemmed.

 

We ate lunch at Sea Breeze.

 

When we arrived home I let Hope loose. Yesterday Hope chewed an electric cord for one of my lamps to pieces. She is still a terrorist dog.

 

I read more in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley. Mom watched Oprah and Dr. Phil and I glanced at them from time to time.

 

I ate the fish and hushpuppies that were leftover from my lunch with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

Even though I put on a sweater, I was cold, so Mom lit the propane heater for a while.

 

I read more in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley.

 

I talked to Leigh, my niece, a few minutes. I wanted to know when she and her family were coming to visit, but she did not know when that would happen.

 

I chatted with Alex for a few minutes.

 

I am thankful:

 

1. I am blessed with talent in writing and art.
2. I have good books to guide my work.
3. I have good tools with which to work.
4. Mom is supportive of my art and writing.
5. Hope did not get hurt when she chewed up the electrical cord because it was not plugged in.
6. The preachers and photographer from our church liked my work.
7. Alex talked to me for three hours on Saturday.
8. I ordered four books from the book club and two of them are free.
9. I have written several poems over the last couple of months.
10. I bought some new shirts this week.

 

I cut off the heater in preparation for going to bed.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I finished reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett on Sunday evening. I enjoyed the book immensely.

 

I woke up at 7:30 this morning. I took Hope to the kitchen/laundry room and tied her on her leash. I ate fruitcake with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for breakfast. I went back to bed and slept until 8:30. I let Hope loose.

 

I drank several cups of coffee with vanilla syrup.

 

I dressed in nice jeans and a pretty sweater Mom gave me. I packed my cooler. I packed my library books into my tote. I tied Hope on her leash. I wrote a check to Mom.

 

We left the house at 10:00. We stopped at the church and Mom took in a Christmas gift for one of our friends. We went to the post office, mailed Mom’s Christmas cards, mailed a package to Mom’s brother, picked up some flat rate boxes, and Mom bought some forever stamps. We went to Mom’s bank and she cashed the check I gave her. We went to the recycling trailer and unloaded our cans. Mom received $41.40 for the cans. We went to Goody’s and I bought six shirts. Mom bought two outfits. We went to Family Christian Store and I bought a book as a present for Alicia. Mom bought two books. We went to LifeWay and Mom bought a pocket New Testament for Alex. We went to the library and I rechecked my books and picked up a few new ones.

 

We went to KFC and ate lunch. I had wanted chicken for a couple of days. It was very good. I did not like the Diet Pepsi though.

 

We went to Sam’s Club. I bought World Without End by Ken Follett and 45oz of Tiny T Bonz for Hope. Mom picked up her medicine. We went to Wal-Mart. I bought four toothbrushes and forty-eight Slim Jims for Alex. I also bought some other groceries and a dog toy. Mom bought groceries and some household needs.

 

As we drove back to the house an idiot pulled out right in front of me and I braked hard or we would have had an accident. We got home at 4:20 and I let Hope loose. We unloaded the Explorer. I put my purchases away.

 

I read some in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley.

 

We wrapped Alicia’s Christmas gifts. I took the gifts to Alicia and she put them under their tree. I went out and talked to James at the barbeque pit for a few minutes.

 

I ate salmon patties with a Caffeine Free Diet Sam’s Cola for supper.

 

Mom’s homebound buddies from the church called wanting to come over. Mom said it was okay. I tied Hope on her leash. Frances and Wendell came and Mom gave them Christmas presents. She showed them one of my paintings and I showed Frances the ones in my room. I also let them read some of my work. They were very impressed by my art and writing. They said I was very gifted and that I should be making money from my work. I wish I knew how to do so. After they left I let Hope loose.

 

I read some in The Cambridge Introduction to Creative Writing by David Morley.

 

Always,

Jo Ann