Even though I went to bed about 11:30 last night, I got up before 7:00 this morning. I am so grateful that I am able to sleep on a regular schedule. I have been insomnia free for a while now and that is a huge relief.

 

Mom gave Hope and Penny baths this morning and I blew Hope dry. Hope behaves much better for Mom in the bath than she does for me, so Mom bathes her for me.

 

Wendell and Frances, Mom’s homebound buddies, from the church came to visit this morning. I tied Hope up while they were here because she gets overly excited when visitors come to the house.

 

I checked the blogs on my list and left a few comments. There were not many new entries. I guess that most of my blog friends have tired of writing, or are too busy with their lives to update their blogs very often.

 

I read some in Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel. I am hoping that this book will encourage my writing. I find the exercises very good. I have been having a hard time writing because I want everything I write to be perfect from the beginning. I do not give myself much room to practice my craft. I am very resistant to writing at all. This was not how it used to be, but I have been blocked almost completely for a couple of years now. I am not doing art either. I do not want to make mistakes, so I rarely begin anything creative. Writing in this blog for the last week seems to be more cathartic creatively than anything I have done in a long while. I actually have the desire to write and that has been lacking for a long time. I do not think of the blog as creative writing, but even journaling is good practice. It gives words and thoughts a form. I did write a poem during this week. It was not a very good poem, but it was something with a meaning. I think I have felt that I did not matter for some time. Therefore, nothing I could write or create had any worth. This is changing a little. One of the exercises I did today was to say I matter and my creative work matters about thirty times. This was a good thing. It made me aware that I was not valuing my creative work or myself. Awareness is one step on the path to change.

 

I also continued reading the novel I am trying to finish. It is a very good book, but I have been neglecting reading it because I have been using the computer a lot.

 

I chatted with Alex a little while this afternoon. He got up at about 4:00pm. Alex is a hard core gamer who usually plays World of Warcraft as he chats with me. I do not command much of his attention. I asked him if he bought Halo 3 and he said yes. He has already nearly beaten the game. I am glad I no longer have to pay for his gaming addiction. I could not afford it.

 

I called in Mom’s prescriptions today. Taking care of her medicines is one of the things I do for her. She would not be able to handle it on her own. We will pick up the prescriptions on Tuesday when we go into town to get our flu shots. We try to combine tasks when we go to town because it is a fifteen-mile drive one way and gas is so expensive.

 

I read some articles on www.salon.com. I am glad I subscribed again. You can read articles without a subscription. It had been about a year since my subscription ran out. Now that I am using the computer a lot again I enjoy reading alternative media. One of the articles was about increasing the number of troops in the military. I do not see how we will do this successfully without reinstating the draft. There are not many young people who are interested in serving in the military in time of war. Alex wanted to be a Marine from the time he was about eight, but that is unusual. Most young adults want their freedom and see the military as a forfeiture of that right.

 

Mom is going to church in the morning so I will have the house to myself for a little while. I am hoping to listen to some music while she is gone. I have to vacuum the house while she is out so there will be little time to turn the volume up.

 

I am grateful that Alex is happy and doing what he loves.

I am grateful that Hope fills my life with joy.

I am grateful that Mom is doing well.

I am grateful that I can read.

I am grateful that I can write.

I am grateful that the weather is getting cooler.

I am grateful that I have a functioning computer.

I am grateful that I am an American.

I am grateful that I have a decent home.

I am grateful that I have food to eat.

 

Sometimes I complain and forget to be thankful, but I have so many things for which to be grateful. Life is essentially good. There is much happiness to be had in my daily life. I am fortunate to be alive and each day is a gift.

 

I hope all is well with each of you.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

I keep forgetting to write about what happened on Wednesday, September 12. Mom went off with the senior citizens. She talked to James that morning and told him the air conditioning was making a clicking noise, but he said not to worry about it. She told me before she left. I kept hearing noises coming from the air conditioner and then I smelt electrical burning coming out of the vent in my room. I called James and told him about the smell. He came down. When he got here the air conditioner was not on and he turned off the breaker so we could clean it. The coils were covered with dust and dog hair. We vacuumed and brushed them off. The Kirby was not working very well, and no wonder it gave up on Sunday right after this. James turned the breaker on the air conditioner back on and there was blue flame in the bottom of the unit. He quickly turned it off and we called the technician. He came out that afternoon and replaced the capacitor that was burning up. If I had not been here and noticed what was happening the house would have burned down. God is so good to take care of us even when we are not aware of it.

 

I woke up at 6:00 this morning, but tried to go back to sleep and did not get up until 6:30. Hope was already awake and ready to go. She may have been what woke me. Hope is very loving and an attention hound. She loves to be held and petted.

 

My good friend Sam died on June 2. He was only forty-nine. I miss him so much because we talked every day. He was a very special person and so considerate. He always made me feel like I was important to him. His mother and I have become friends and I sent her a card this morning. We talk on the phone about once a week. It makes me feel closer to Sam to talk to her.

 

I have a wireless mouse and sometimes I hate it. It goes dead at the most inconvenient times. It also uses too many batteries. The most irritating thing about it is that it flashes red light all the time and sometimes that makes it hard to sleep. I think there could be a better design.

 

I have three journals in which I wrote down original writing prompts. I wish I could get them published because I think other writers would find them useful. I have not done most of the prompts, but they are very good. I actually wrote them about seven years ago.

 

Today was educator’s day at Borders. I home-schooled Alex so I qualify as a retired educator. Mom and I went to the special event this afternoon. I won one of the grand prize giveaways. It had many nice goodies in it. I got a journal, some note cards, a nice tote bag, some mini office tools, a photo dome, a pencil and some stickers, a memo holder, a pencil holder, a book cover, and a bunch of coupons and gift cards. I took some of my rainy day money and bought some writing books since I got 25% off today. I got Coaching the Artist Within by Eric Maisel, A Writer’s Coach by Jack Hart, Writing Poetry From The Inside Out by Sandford Lyne, Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark, and Telling True Stories edited by Mark Kramer and Wendy Call. I hope these books will help inspire me. I also bought two cups and an adorable puppy bookmark. Now I have to replace the money at the first of the month, but I saved over $28.

 

We stopped at Burger King and I had a Whopper for supper. I had not had a fast food burger in a while and it was good.

 

I chatted with Alex. He is off until Sunday afternoon. Last weekend he did rifle qualifications and was disappointed because he only qualified as marksman. I am glad he shoots that well.

 

Mom did not go off so I will not have the house to myself this weekend, but that is okay. It is somewhat lonely when she goes off anyway.

 

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

Well, the squirt bottle does not work all the time to stop Hope from attacking Penny. I soaked her with it last night and she just kept going after Penny. I had to tie her up for about an hour to separate them.

 

Chatted with Alex long enough to tell him I love him today. He was getting ready to go to work.

 

James went to see a surgeon today to schedule his biopsy.

 

The DirecTv technician came about 5:00. He realigned the dish and changed the transponder, but that did not fix the problem. He decided it was the wiring and ran new wire. That fixed it and the television is functioning fine now. Hope was scared of the technician and hid in my room the whole time he was here. That is very unusual for Hope she usually befriends everyone. She finally started acting more normal after he had been gone an hour or so.

 

My uncle sent my Mom some onions and tomato seed. She planted about half of the onions and is giving the rest to my brother, James, to plant in his garden. The tomato seed are for next year.

 

I had wanted to find some boxes of all occasion cards since the other day when I had such a limited choice of card for my mother’s birthday. I knew I had a few nice boxes of them, but I was unable to get to them. I thought they were on a shelf I could not access. Last night, I moved stuff around so I could get to the place where I thought the cards were, but they were not there. I was determined to find them so I tried another shelf. They wound up being under it. I was so happy I found them. I wrote Richard, Alex’s father, a birthday card last night. This morning I wrote Reba, my best friend, a card congratulating her on her new house. I had not sent out any cards in a long time. Maybe this writing thing is paying off. I hope I will start some creative writing soon.

 

I think we are going to town tomorrow. Mom has a jacket at the dry cleaners to pick up and I need to get a few groceries. I also have a $20.00 rebate check to cash from AT&T. That money will come in handy. Maybe we can have lunch in town. I would really like a restaurant meal.

 

I think Mom may go out of town for the weekend. I am looking forward to having the house to myself for a few days. I can play my music louder when she is not home. I do not have to worry about doing stuff outside when she is gone and can enjoy reading and computing without feeling guilty for not spending the time with her.

 

I am so fortunate to have the wonderful Mom I do. I do not know how I would get along without her. We do not always agree, but we get along well most of the time. I am blessed with a terrific son too. I am so proud of Alex. He has grown up to be an exceptional young man. I am lucky to have Hope who loves me and allows me to love her. She makes the days more joyful.

 

I am grateful for books to read, this blog to write in, and a decent home to live in. There are so many blessings in my life. Things are not ideal, but I am mostly happy and that is great.

 

Always,

Jo Ann  

 

I have not written about the change in Alex’s MOS. He was dropped from intelligence training and put in flight equipment support. He had to learn to rig parachutes and fix all the survival gear on planes. He does not like his job much and intends to go back to intelligence training as soon as he can.

 

Alex is a Lance Corporal now. He hopes to advance rapidly from now forward. He has talked of going back to Parris Island as a drill instructor, but does not know if he will meet the physical requirements.

 

I am hoping Alex will decide to go to officers training. I would love to see him do it.

 

Today is Mom’s seventy-eighth birthday. She got up before I did at 7:00am and was already gone for the day. I hope she has a wonderful day.

 

I have to take my Nikon D50 in for maintenance. It is working fine and everything, but my extended warranty runs out in February and I want to make sure it is in good shape.

 

My all-in-one no longer works as a fax machine. I broke it around Christmas last year and let the warranty run out before I realized it was broken. I called HP, no joke, two days after the warranty ran out and they would not fix my all-in-one. It was terrible. The scanner, printer, copier functions still work fine. I just cannot send a fax, so I guess it is okay. I do not have the money for a new one.

 

I worked for hours on the blog yesterday. The blog was not showing up on the opening page. I finally found that by using a template I could make the blog appear. I did that and moved some modules around. I am not really pleased with the theme so I may be changing that a bit. I cleared the links that no longer went to blogs and did some general housekeeping. I hope I have made some improvements.

 

I decided yesterday that I did not like using Live Writer. I will be using OneNote and the regular blog posting mechanism to do my blogs.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

 

It has been a long time since I have made an entry here. I cannot promise I will be posting more frequently in the future, but I think it is about time I let you know what has been going on. A lot has happened since I wrote last.

 

Alex turned eighteen on May 16th and we had a nice outing. He graduated on May 27th. That was a relief because he had had some trouble with his math. As he had planned he entered the Marine Corps on June 4th. I did not cry when he left which was good. He did not pass the initial strength test so he had to go in special training company for a week which changed his graduation date. Then he caught double pneumonia and was again in special training company. That lasted about a month and changed his graduation date again. He became quite depressed, but he never wanted to quit. His paternal grandfather died on August 1st but he chose not to come home because he had just returned to regular training. I went to the memorial service and sent him the program from it.

 

Sunday, September 17th Mom and I went to church and then went to Wal-Mart to shop. As we parked the truck we saw some people selling Shih Tzu puppies. We went over to them and looked at the puppies. We decided to go in and do our shopping and I would think about getting the puppy. When we came out I had basically decided that a puppy would be too much expense for me to afford. Mom asked me if I wanted to get the puppy and I told her I did not think so. She said, "Well if you want her we better go over there and get her." I broke down and said yes I wanted to get her. Mom got them to come off their asking price by $150.00. As we rode home we were trying to come up with a name. Mom suggested Hope because we could only hope that my brother James would not make me get rid of her. She became Hope. She is a cute little brown and white fluff ball.

 

Alex graduation date was finally set at Friday, October 13th. Mom and I planned to go to Parris Island for the ceremony, but on October 4th Mom broke her ankle. I almost gave up on being able to have her go, but my niece offered to drive us up there and help with the wheelchair. We went with her three kids along. On Thursday the morning of family day we went to watch the motivational run, but we did not see Alex. All the guys looked alike. We later watched the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor ceremony and we were able to find Alex in his company. We all got misty eyed seeing Alex for the first time in months. After the ceremony was over we were able to spend the rest of the afternoon with Alex. He was so happy to see us as we were to see him. It was so good walking arm in arm with him. He finally had made it through boot camp and we were all thrilled. It was wonderful spending time with him and we were all sad that the day had to end. Friday morning he graduated. We took him to the hotel and he got the first long shower he had had in months and he dressed in civilian clothes. He was ecstatic. We drove home with Alex. He told stories of boot camp along the way. It was so good just hearing him talk. He had ten days leave.

 

Alex had forgotten the password to his computer while he was gone. He decided to get a new laptop. We went to Best Buy and he got an awesome HP machine.

 

Richard, Alex’s father, cancelled the insurance on Alex’s car while he was in boot camp so Alex was not able to drive his car while he was on leave. On Monday I took Alex to the interment of his grandfather. That ceremony was heart rending. His grandmother invited me to go to dinner with the rest of the family and we had a very nice meal. Afterward I was invited to Alex’s grandmother’s condominium to spend some time with them. While I was there Richard and I went for a walk and talked a lot. The family was going to the Atlanta Aquarium the next day and they invited me to spend the night and go with them. I called my Mom and asked her if it would be okay because she was watching my puppy. She reluctantly said yes. The visit to the aquarium was enjoyable. Alex and I returned home late in the afternoon.

 

Alex spent a good bit of time with his friends while he was on leave. Mom and I were a little disappointed that he did not spend more time with us. The ten days flew by. We took him to the Greyhound station to catch the bus to Marine Combat Training. We did not hear from Alex for weeks. He finally called us and said he had been in the field all the time without the chance to write. He would be going from MCT to Virginia Beach for training in intelligence. He would call with his address when he got there because he wanted me to ship his laptop and some other things to him. He was very happy when he got to Virginia Beach. Everything was to his liking. It was a week before he got the address, but he called a couple of times before then. I shipped him his package overnight and it arrived Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It was 33 pounds and cost $97.75 to ship. He was very happy to get it. Unfortunately Alex was not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving. He did get to go home with a buddy whose family lived nearby and so had a nice dinner.

 

My cousin Martha and her husband Steve came and had Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and I. Mom prepared a wonderful meal. We are still polishing off the leftovers.

 

Hope is a very frisky puppy so I decided to enroll her in obedience class. The instructor allowed Mom to bring Penny along to class for free. The training is going well, but Hope is still a little character.

 

My computer went crazy while Alex was here on leave and I thought I was going to have to reload all its programming. Thankfully I reinstalled the updates that had not installed because I shut the computer down in the middle of the process and it has been working fine since.

 

I am hoping that Alex will get to come home for Christmas. He thinks his first duty station will be Iraq so any time we can spend together is very precious. I am hoping he does not have to go to Iraq, but he is doing what he wants to do with his life. Even though I am very worried I am happy that he is enjoying his life.

 

Mom is in a lot of pain with her back which has been bothering her for over a year. It has gotten so bad it is debilitating. She will have a nerve block on December 20th, but I wish there were something they could do for the pain before then.

 

I lost twelve pounds, but unfortunately over the last couple of weeks I gained five of it back. It is so hard to maintain a consistent loss.

 

I have read fifty-three books so far this year. I was hoping to read more, but seems like I stay too busy to read as much as I would like.

 

I hope all my friends here in blogland are doing well. I just have not felt like writing anything so my space has suffered.

 

I hope all of you have Happy Holidays.

 

Always,

Jo Ann 

 

Mom had her test today at the hospital. The doctor said he did not see anything seriously wrong, but he did take biopsies. We should get test results in a week or two. I tend to think that there is nothing new wrong. Her doctor put her back on Reglan which has helped her in the past. The only bad thing about that medication is that it can cause her Parkinson’s tremors to be worse.

 

I nearly passed out at the hospital. When they took the IV out of Mom’s arm it bled a lot because she takes a blood thinner. I watched as they replaced the gauze because it was saturated and then the blood just poured out of her vein and I got woozy. I had to go sit out in the waiting room instead of staying in recovery with Mom. I just cannot handle heavy flowing blood. Skins, scrapes, and small cuts are okay, but not where copious amounts of blood flow. I even have to turn away when they draw blood from me, this is why I don’t donate blood. I would pass out for sure.

 

We ate at Cracker Barrel. I had a breakfast plate and Mom had a sandwich meal. We next went to Sam’s Club to pick up her medicine and my two prescriptions. Then we did our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. I was so glad when we finished with that. I really hate to go to Wal-Mart.

 

When we got home there was a note on the door saying that my monitor had been left in the barn. I was surprised that UPS would leave something as expensive as a monitor outside. I would have thought they would deliver it tomorrow since we were not home. No harm done, just surprising. I guess they thought with us living in as secluded a spot as we do that it would be okay.

 

After I put the groceries away I unpacked the monitor. It is just like the one I had, only it is a reconditioned unit. I was not happy that it was reconditioned so I called the warranty company to see if it would be covered like a new one would. They said yes, so I guess it is okay. I unhooked the little spare monitor I had borrowed from Alex and carried it back to his room. Then I hooked the "new" monitor up to my machine. I am glad to have a 19 inch flat panel display that works at a higher resolution again. 800 by 600 just does not cut it anymore and 14 inches is ridiculously small. I admit I am spoiled.

 

Sunday night I started reading Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson. This is the first of three novels in the Baroque Cycle. I have had it since when it was first published, but just never got around to reading it. I have the other two in the series too, so I will be tied up with reading these extremely long novels for a while. I am really enjoying this one so far. I thought I would get a lot of reading done today while Mom was having her test, but it did not take as long as I was led to expect.

 

I talked to Alex’s recruiter this evening. Alex is scheduled to enter the Marines on June 6, which is 6/6/06 and I don’t like that date. Call me superstitious if you will, but it just seems like an inauspicious date to go into something already fraught with danger. Anyway, when I signed for him to enter the Marines I was told that he would not be going in until sometime in August. I want him to have a little summer break before he goes in. Hopefully, they will reschedule him.

 

I have to have a MRI of my brain. This is to check my pituitary gland, evidently my hormone level for prolactin is way out of the normal range. This high reading could be because of my anti-psychotic medication or something could be screwy with my brain… anyway they want to find out. I am not crazy about having the test done, but I suppose there is no way round it. I would be curious to find out if the rest of my brain looks normal. Maybe I can get my psychiatrist to read the test as well. It has been many years since I had a MRI and my understanding is that schizophrenia deteriorates the brain . This is supposed to be visible in a MRI, so I wonder about it.

 

Well, that is all I have to say right now. I hope all is well with each of you.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann