Now you who is pretty much you is the two I idea about had are you I just you I have Alex I have I am qualified and know who well enough of things and almost have the of the you is and sholuld if it was my first time of you both in only in but not all I have admitted you, most likely the the I talking and if you both even in this have even the you have of who Pariah is least likely a jerk only of my sex of, of a jerk than he is are most on someone ilks in, in my exactly as honest did way all of you in all but some way is did in my best type of in his own what is thought of a complete all both ways you try have more than you and I most that way to come to my blog and as I tell you more I a reason is and she I both like she is a closet love is of love of the most others who do her a big favor of nurses every is both will now a lover my blog for is you in any or my most cynical who was as just much relieved as who as good as who is as limited I even most of know where I very much is as have a clue my is not as dumb of type to anyone is when how the most only a dog isquite even in my very now sick a stanger will not ofbest of her is feild is now of one this is Miss Cookie Pussy is the bet I in her most in anyone I have in her own best in most as counselors in which is one as I as I EVEN one person I is as am in now of I if one my who is for her one as is a new RN as well couple who is even too know how like is capable like I am in way too intelligent in if is of any as in a little too now you and she is almost had to call me without a doubt last night again I am in somewhat I her thoughts seem I like limit is normal to you and most of is any of the see most as is know of her to derive all I most to in her is the in a believe it is of her quality now a most normal a person right of in unlimited respect as you I am like in her intelligence in anybody what in you and I her is like her I of her is both more in me I tell of power the influence the most of have either to both probably of love and is I know in many lack find one of you both of in your case anyone she acting in that is authority in those feilds like me if I most everything but the most tragic misunderstand under I was her mostly her goodwill her most apparently Chistian honest quite slighty few the good I any good person is who only grasp of I yet of who read limited own damn reason for her for I of somone one now can in pleasantly can is why to most three of amazed people in of her capacity in a while for her in even bizarre way you done is like to you have in who limited in now what normal you are only her not who knows quite of my blown of vast portion in any his limited most of to have know is getting not a little hold displaying to most of her worried in her a person of her the most unlike any we both is quite a well person her in regard as what you unlike any tried who her little too give quite of by our best of his of of those benign of her grasp still itbecame very people of all his weird reasons in tihis oflikemy respect to you could lack of me byhis own in quite a few of the likely well of done in it I with I one the most of your even talent if you of in of your quite a lot your conception of I best of saints of my truly take of if I dubious now one in ourwhere today credit i not so information in my in opinion of many to here none these you may on in almost on his like is that some kind at why currently to who I in that some even of to her jerk at as her I hint we are today of my best good at as of her best least a credit to best he was her of in her a reference to my best of all qualities to one republican a can of her hold own of is to likely her mos tof it on her most democrats a most of my if like in allwith it are apparent innocent in my most current of his his like it if she knew few best of best I have judge of innocent in regard best know of of knowing of his most curiosity I in a saints in traits so manifest displeasure is in to who in strange quite who in your is to like in me in you both of in her apparently little in a own damn way of any to her is one of know of his likely to know way of her likely mess like of in awe in his person of a jerk to quite my seeing in significent in people a and of in this unlike nearly you or not now now is, is a and way in quite bad way as good now in my in my best in the in lays it you in their complete self as in their do you by very in my slow in there you would me in in would somewhat better you am in and in so in this and is how this great. Some else as you and by movies the the the way you, you in in a good way of new in my in think you best as telling one in this iu any of a miracle they in fat detail fact I indeed of how you of in my in fact not the reason feat in in some of you the you now my life in in my everyone stopdosomething like in as bad as in my is mine is, is your pleasant in one of in great even than is for what is what some help in some in very good I can in there are some how in a good are of quite how my in way in are my personal if I you in how the terrible in the time know are to unkind I the very of few select in you in who in everyone I anyone who fascinating thy realized awe in real I ME AM MY WHO DO NOT I AM IN one of here each by Some you in awe in this is the most I still I getting one of type they in are in odd some people I way each acted one the way if today was you i finally broke and respective if I as me could tell me any in there in ying yang you way of it admire now in true in my own life i cannot of why is one in there in the you like some perfection they I saw true blogs your limited I that is as blog in miracle in someone who is as met in you in normal i personal seeking your opinion out in the you are seem I am is is honest in my of fear of as in his in in my about normal a which i owe to people most normal onbadly of which of every sin i either him self in the blog by in exact total in quote to everytime time which one is in a personal each and to each someone is as good of in time of my I aware one of the in fear to kind a way a manage in what they one the one am i am in a reach each my truly real world in of you daily which is what i have stab hit in that extra ordnarily is each one my own life mistakes each reason I have as one saint have in you and of his years he year you sqaure each doctors any time and true in blogs is some in a most after people swear of is to mine in his any love his as in each try in to be for in his in extra worse purpose in you in case really needs anytime in thinks of you one my own in each. Each in a blog in doubles your reasons you man he in an you each of has been his the same time explain in you at one on any serves your most need urgent need what is most me in ways best of you few and Jewish. i have one he now to respect you can it like each and thingand t he you some of you each for can I herad he knows i try by oh one if i can manage who.

Right now i am gone to my I am asleep,
Jo Ann

I see in this entry that you want my opinion, JoAnn.

It sounds like you might be getting manic, with racing thoughts and inability to sleep. You need to call your doctor and get stabilized with medicine.

Ask for a ride to your psychiatrist or the emergency room for an evaluation.

Your friend, Reeking Havoc
Published By Reeking_Havoc (http://spaces.msn.com/members/reekinghavoc/) – April 22 4:20 AM

Well you finally got to me yesterday and you by the comment you left and got me here thinking about what is my best guess of all you has to be done and that was your apologizing like anyone I have done in best way I am sure anyone else anyone has ever done by coming if you have or nor been there in way even my most could have in my own fucking messed up you did in my own life quite because you very much believe it your jerk of you can without honest to me by coming to and maybe linking me before by my first person I would give a thought by still disagreeing with me and then coming to a lot of my same reason at you and never in your life would the honest truth heard because you were trying to some jerks I understand as you to be in quite ashamed of really in my own Space you understand finally why have tried so hard not a glimmer how I really was. YOU have somewhat done what some complete saints did with me before I did say a thing and I think would have cannot quite sure they even done this think in my own damn mind that much. YOU happen to be one of the few I will say this about and have more than I happen too sorry too also proud I am of need know it. YOU are if you are have any truth in me believe so lucky. If you can I honestly believe it I wrote all I still know my judge of me do in truth before for me instill honestly did do it where I did ever did. You can and will still see it. IN Near MY Own BEST Words. Go compare the time here for you. I will be little amazed I could do it.

I have tried on my own space how I can do best today after five hours myself about all that within a long entry and more than I will ever say on what I meant in your own case you will ever need me say really as clear as I know others will believe you. YOU should probably tell you everything and in future and it now makes me sure I need a brand new nickname around here. If you take me up on that I will be delighted. I do you that warn you it took several hours to great effort as even your amazement will be get it nearly this right. I am still you may feel sure you know to say what is right about all this in less words. You are too good at it.

Smiles, If You Even Glance At It,
Jo Ann

I am thanking all my visitors for helping me finally hit 6000 page views which is something of a milestone for me as I am not among the most popular of the "clique". I still should have it today if twenty more hits are logged before midnight. I thought some might be proud to know they helped me get there and I appreciate it. I usually do say something every thousand or so hits. I am not even among the older blogs on top lists around here as I began this on January 17, 2005. You might look back on those first few entries to see that my own blog has improved and developed over time if you are new around here, I at least think it has. I am trying to take some spare time before I do business today to spend a little time with all of you. I miss you guys as blog buddies are my best reliable support right now. Some you may know I have not even seen my counselor for about three weeks now and she usually sees me once a week. I am depending on my family and you few guys for all support right now. All my real friends are not here in Georgia. They do not even have the ability to see my blog as they do not own computers right now. If you ever doubted you are important in my life please rethink your position. I just left my counselor a message to call me back as soon as she can.

 

I am going to say right now I am having a big financial crisis, but this should straighten out soon if money I expect to come in arrives at the right time. This is all dependant on my doing some of these things through USPS.  You may know my stuff, as often is the case, does not always arrive like I expect. I quite literally have to get checks in the mail before I can do anything at this time to resolve the quagmire I am sunk in right now. I again had to borrow grocery money from mother yesterday one more time. I was hoping never to be in that position again, but we really needed Pop Tarts for Alex’s breakfast starting three mornings ago. I felt we had to have that and a gallon of milk for him because that is his morning routine to eat daily. There were a few other things we needed as well, it amounted to $100.00.

 

 I expect it to be a pretty good day considering my last ones, which have not been quite the best. I am  thinking I will not have many recent problems today… one or two things may even turn around. That would somewhat relieve the panic I was struggling with, as I may have to explain to some of you soon if it does not stop driving me insane. I was not at all, until today, in a good state since last Friday That is about all I have to say now and I should get back after my shower if things don’t get hectic around here. Expect some poems today like usual if I even think I might have the time.

 

Smiles and Hugs,

Jo Ann

Dear Kim, Wesley, and Kenny,

 

I sorely needed to go to bed when I wrote this last night. It probably is too short to explain what I am feeling or why I may still feel a little that way as I had already taken my medicine and was having a difficult time just keeping my eyes open. My last few real blogs which were just about business got little or no comment. Even the more usual of my personal last ones have received few or none and I am inclined to think it is somewhat like I mused to those of you who read this entry.

 

I need very much to hear from those who usually comment of what they would like on my space in the future. I am considering moving to another place on my own website with my blog when my provider who I am working on getting my own dot.com through will provide it. This is a stopping point until I have a web server of my own. Then I may provide space to others in the future. I expect to even have the ability to use FrontPage on my own blog or some better Adobe programs for blogging soon. I am excited about this and would like to know if anyone would be interested in this in the future. I personally went to this theme because everything but the older ones were not working for my own blog space reliably. I seem to find that newer ones are less stable in the blog even being here at times. I will experiment with this again as I have time.

 

I also think some comments might have been blocked once in a while is why I am appealing to anyone who wants to as concerns my staying on MSN myself, let me know. I don’t even know if you are able to always leave comments with other themes. Some of you might check your own blog for this problem if you are seeing a reduced number of regular comments and you are running the new ones. Especially if you are one of the so called "clique" as I know MSN has still got very many bugs like they did with the beta stuff on new themes. You need to be aware of this. Even if you are on one or two of the "clique’s" list you should check this out if you are considering doing anything drastic in your own space. I am now sure I am leaving for better accommodations elsewhere myself soon. I will see you know where I am when I go. I may occasionally leave a shorter comment about myself here once in while even then.

 

Thank you for commenting at all right now. I do really need to hear from you at this time on these issues.

 

I left this blog entry with these names because it is important that these people know I read their comments. I thought a regular comment was not an ideal space to leave this kind of information. You all needed to know why I am thinking the way I do if you even visit this space at all.

 

Smiles and Hugs,

Jo Ann

Day 10: Savor the Sweetness

 

Journal Prompts and My Responses

 

List the smells you love and dislike from the past and the memories they elicit.

 

• Water Babies suntan lotion reminds me of my honeymoon with Jeff. That was a magical time.
• Rapture perfume reminds me of times I dressed up and it makes me feel sexy.
• Fresh cut grass reminds me of childhood summers.
• Ocean breezes remind me of vacations at the beach.
• Lightered wood burning reminds me of sitting around a campfire.
• Blueberry scented candles remind me of times when I had my own home.
• I love the smell of new books it makes me think of times I have sat entranced by some story for hours.
• I hate the smell of manure because when I was a child there was a neighbor who fertilized his garden with the odorous stuff right during the heat of summer and the whole neighborhood stank.

 

List all the foods you love to eat.

 

• Filet Mignon (medium-rare)
• Poppa John’s the Works pizza
• T-bone steak (medium-rare)
• Cadbury chocolate
• Loaded baked Potato
• Fresh salad with extra tomatoes
• Corn on the cob
• Peaches
• Oranges
• Tangerines
• Cantaloupe
• Steamed Cabbage
• Shrimp cocktail
• Strawberries
• Hot dogs
• Turnip greens
• Broccoli with cheese
• Extra Sharp Cheddar
• Chocolate cake with chocolate icing
• Crab legs
• Calamari
• Fried Shrimp
• French fries
• Scrambled eggs
• Rare bacon
• Chicken and dumplings
• Bell peppers
• Broccoli and cheese rice
• Lasagna
• Seedless grapes
• Granny Smith Apples
• Prime Rib (medium-rare)
• Vegetable soup
• Campbell’s Tomato soup with melted cheddar cheese in it
• Star Crunch
• Chocolate mints
• Peppermint

 

Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion

 

• Five things for which I am grateful today:
• More poetry to put on my blog
• The glass dolphin on my desk
• That Mom did not hurt her hand to bad when she cut it today
• That I get so many positive comments on my old poems
• That I was able to print a picture of Penny for Mom

 

I am just waking up because I went to bed around 5:00AM and woke up when someone called at 12:30PM. Please bear with me as I get a few of the posts up and going.

 

I want to thank everyone who commented on recent entries. I should have a few more poems up soon. I just went through the box for what I thought was the best of what is there.

 

Take care and hugs to all.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

I changed the blog some more. I found too many of my theme on my trip visiting… no offense meant by the change. I just wanted something a little different. Maybe I will stay here a while.

I also added some more links during my cruising around. You might want to check over in Other Favorite blogs. These are some that can move up if they only link back to me…

Just a quick lick and run here.

Smiles,
Jo Ann

Something finally managed to piss me off today, I thought I could go a few days without getting into a pissy mood, but no. MSN is up to its old tricks of pissing me off by crashing every time I open two windows at once. I sometimes hate MSN. I am sorry I am saying this again, but I am very pissed. I can not even get to another space right now, plus I cannot edit mine. I want to grab someone and warn them never to use MSN as a provider.

 

Now, the rant is over. I was playing with PhotoShop and I can not seem to set it as the default program for opening images. Does anyone who is out there know how to do this. I would much appreciate your help if you know. Thanks very much.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

Day 9: Floating Eyes

 

Journal Prompts and My Responses

 

What would today look like if everything went “right”?

 

• I would have enough money to afford life without debt
• My mother would be agreeable instead of crotchety
• My artwork and writing would be worth something monetarily
• I would not have gotten soaked in the rain
• I would have my own abode decorated to my tastes
• I would not have schizophrenia or schizo-affective disorder or whatever the hell is wrong with me
• I would have a devoted partner with whom to snuggle at the end of the day
• I would weigh 70 pounds less than I do
• The car in my driveway would be less than 5 years old
• I would have a dog of my own to be my companion
• My hair would be colored without my having to mess with it
• We would have teleportation so that travel was instantaneous
• My computer would never glitch and my internet connection would be always on like it supposed to be
• I could really meet some of my favorite celebrities instead of just wishing
• I would have a good sense of humor instead of this twisted-ness
• There would be no discrimination and no narrow-mindedness
• Peace would be possible all over the world
• No one would die of hunger or sleep outside in the cold because they did not have a place to live
• No child would be abused or murdered
• Politicians would keep their ever-loving promises instead of feeding the populace a crock of shit
• Freedom would be real, not a pipe dream
• Everyone would experience love and acceptance
• One person could in reality change the world

 

It is your last day on planet Earth. What would you like to do?

 

• Sleep well the night before and get up before dawn so I could watch the sun rise from a mountain near the ocean
• Have fresh brewed coffee and diet Coke along with T-bone steak, scrambled eggs, pancakes topped with strawberries and cream, and some melon
• See all my friends, family, and enemies and tell them all how much they mean to me and that I would always love them
• Give special gifts to each person
• Read a little from the Bible and Shakespeare
• Pray an hour
• Eat a quick lunch of pizza and salad
• Go water-skiing for a couple of hours
• Take a hot shower and dress casually
• Paint a picture of the sun setting over the water
• Eat a quiet dinner with Alex and maybe have a drink or three
• Lay down and fall asleep and never wake up again

 

 

Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion

 

• Imagine what your favorite heroine would do given your circumstances:
• Scarlett O’Hara would be happy she had plenty of food
• She would not be content to sit around waiting for the right man to come into her life… she would go out and grab the first one she saw and be damned his marital status or current involvement
• She would find some way to make money even if it meant putting herself in a compromising situation
• She would not be patient with mother when she was complaining
• She would wear exactly what she wanted and if others did not like it she would tell them to go to hell
• She would do more and read less
• Five things for which I am grateful today:
1. My body does not melt in the rain
2. My poetry being here beside me
3. My room being so neat
4. Hot water
5. This is going to be a good day 

That is all for now.

 

TTYL,

Jo Ann

Day 8: Ask For Guidance

 

 

Journal Prompts and My Responses

 

Whose voice do you love the sound of? Why? How does it affect you?

 

• I love the sound of Alex’s voice. I guess this is because he is my son and one of my best friends. His voice makes me feel trusted and gives validation to my life.
• Jeff has a voice that instantly catches my attention. Mostly his voice makes me smile… it brings me joy to talk with him.
• Barbara Streisand’s voice is so beautiful. She is my favorite female vocalist. Her voice allows me to believe all things are possible.
• Robey’s voice is husky and I love to hear him talk. Listening to him makes me feel sexy and happy.
• I love Mick’s voice. I could listen to that man sing all day. Something about it makes me want to just tune in forever.

 

Write down a secret you’ve kept a long time. How does it feel to finally spill it out?

 

One year before we went on vacation I accidentally spilled a drink in my bed. When I returned home, I blamed it on someone coming into my room while we were gone away. I was so afraid of my mother at the time that I could not admit I had done something she had yelled at me about before. I forgot about this for years, but when it came to me, I was sorry that I had lied. I am not going to tell mother even now. I do not need her scolding at this late date. It feels good to write it down though.

 

Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion

 

• A plan of escape is an imaginary mechanism to let off steam from life’s pressure cooker. I can “run away” without actually doing it by:
• Closing the door to my room and tuning in to some of my music
• Going out to the mall on my own
• Reading a great book
• Painting a picture
• Going off for a weekend alone at a nice hotel
• Getting in my car and driving without a destination
• Taking a walk outdoors
• Five things for which I am grateful today:

  1. The music I am playing right now
  2. I like my new CD player
  3. I slept well last night
  4. I rearranged some of my nice ink pens today
  5. The music of Secret Garden is very beautiful

I went to bed at 3:30AM and woke up when the alarm went off at 10:00. I have managed to already have two arguments with my mother and the day is just beginning. I refuse to let the bickering get me down. It looks like another nice day outside.

 

I may go out later to do some things with Mom. I think she would like to go to town. I am not sure yet about that though. I have to get a shower soon and make my bed so the room looks better. Things went well with Alex’s grandfather so he gets to stay with them until tomorrow. I was looking forward to his coming back today, but it is okay anyway. Tomorrow should be fun when he gets home.

 

Mom really wants me to paint some today so I may do that in between being on here.

 

I should try to get a few things done now. I will let you go and get back later.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

My third entry today is my trip to take Alex to Richard and what I did on the way home. First we got to town too late to eat with Richard, so I basically just dropped Alex off with his father. I went to Best Buy to pick up a few interesting music tracks. I browsed all over the store. I came home with a CD player and gave Alex my older one which is still in really good shape. I also gave Alex’s old CD player to Mom. I bought several new selections of music in all genres. I also bought the newest Sony headphones for Alex and I.

 

I stopped at one of the old grocery stores in town and picked up about $200.00 worth of groceries and assorted things. I loved the atmosphere there. Very relaxed and all the staff was very helpful, one even helped me get both my buggies to the car and loaded the groceries into the hatchback.

 

I came home and started burning in my CDs. I bought some of the stuff for my mother and she paid me back. I also brought home two very nice bottles of wine and had a drink tonight. Mom was okay with wine, but she said I could only drink one glass. It has given me a slight buzz, as wine often does. I am still enjoying burning music into the computer.

 

I may do some updates to my online selection complete with links. I would like to put Echos by Pink Floyd on the site. It is a very cool collection and the title song is awesome.

 

Still eating my supper. I need to look at some other blogs tonight, but may not get to the whole list. I will browse them at least.

 

I have to change out a CD. I may be back on later.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann