I Am Fragile, Weak

My psychiatrist says I must now
See him every three months
So he can vigilantly observe me
Because I came nearly apart again.

The stress to which I am currently subjected
Is somewhat beyond my ordinary safety limit.
I worry about Mom obsessively and constantly,
I cannot distance myself from her plight.

I have full responsibility for care of Mom
And everything else, which is maintained here.
There is no one stepping in to render aid,
It is do-it-myself or leave it completely undone.

I am capable, and can perform most tasks
As long as no one looks too closely or asks,
“How are you doing?” I answer, “Very well.”
I will not let down my habitual trusted mask.

Underneath the well-worn façade I realize
There are cracks in my courage, my resolve,
I barely hold on to my placid existence:
I live in total abject horror of Mom’s passing.

My friends who pay close attention may
Have some awareness of my fragility,
But my family does not recognize
How very desperate I sometimes am.

I must toughen up and stand firm
For the situation will not get better
Mom’s deterioration is hastening along,
I promised to care for her, and I will.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Half My Life Is Gone, And I Have Given

Many days I have spent in deep despair
Because the love I wanted was not there
Within the heart of him I desired, so dear.

Many days I have tried to please
Someone or other who only teased
With words and actions at their ease.

Many days I have gone to great length
To show my character possesses strength
With little success, or so others might think.

Many days I have spent wandering inside
The creations of writer’s minds outside
The reality where I must truly reside.

Many days I have tried to inspire
Myself or someone else to enquire
Into the depths of creativity’s empire.

Many days I have gone beyond myself
Trying to help another achieve for themselves
What I could not seem to do by myself.

Many days and countless hours, I have spent
Hoping that I might somehow repent
For wasted time that others may resent.

Many days I have tried to finally accomplish
Some worthy work to fulfill my lifelong wish
To do something perfectly and actually finish.

Many days I have gone alone to bed
With silly dreams of victory in my head
For deeds undone and words left unsaid.

Come To Me In The Silence Of The Night

After my mother has gone to bed,
When the television is turned off
And I can think, clearly and completely.

We will create something wondrous,
A poem or story the world has not seen
A hint of at any other given time.

Come to me when I can fully relax,
Give myself over to my imagination
With no qualms about Mom’s neglect.

Come muse, infuse me with passion,
Give over my will to the flow of words,
Create something fabulous in my mind.

Never torment me by eluding my effort
Give me the words I need without pause
For I am enslaved, enthralled, in your service.

After all the errands are finally run
When the world is drifting into slumber
And I can devote all my energy, totally.

We will endeavor to capture the exact word,
A noun, adjective, or verb as yet unheard
By the unsuspecting, unready world.

Haiku – Saturday, May 21, 2011 – Early Morning

My Mom is not well
I struggle to aid her health,
The days are fleeting.

My Kindle woos me
With an abundance of words,
I read at leisure.

I adore reading,
But writing is my true work…
Must apply effort.

If world is ending
I will not complete my work,
So much left undone.

Many predictions
None yet have ever come true,
Only God knows time.

After all this time
My love has barely faded,
You still have my heart.

Coming into day
With great anticipation
To accomplish much.

Memory may fade
But moments are still treasured
As each passes by.

We killed the head,
The body still organizes
Preparing to strike.

A child is a gift
A responsibility
Treasured forever.

A Poem For Someone Special

Somehow I Just Know

Sometimes I feel you.
I know you are out there
Reaching toward me,
But I cannot see you.

I am only aware
You are waiting
Just as I am here,
Worlds and worlds apart.

One day somehow
Our paths will cross,
We will recognize
One another.

We will find our hearts
Have been searching
For what we can give
Each other.

All the lonely time
Will fade away
While you and I
Are finally together.

Please do not give up
Because I will wait
However long it takes
For you to arrive.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Darling, Hope

Darling of my heart
Always dear, dependable,
Loyal without question.

Companion who walks with me
With quiet joy
And overwhelming happiness.

Partner in my bed
Who snuggles up warmly
Against me in the night.

I never knew
A puppy dog
Could be such a friend.

A Dream Given Haiku

The first line of this came in a dream where I was trying to teach someone else that she could write poetry… interesting dream, one of my basic premises that anyone can write.

Step over the words

Of knowledge given to you

Then find your own way.

Friday, January 29, 2010

November 2009 PAD Chapbook Challenge – Days 1-3

Attempting the Challenge

I take on the challenge,

But think myself handicapped

By insufficient inspiration.

No poems have burst forth

From my heart and mind

For over a year now.

Why should I suddenly

Be able to write a poem

Every day for a month?

I want to own a new lease

On my poetic life

With poems pouring out.

However, I am unsure

That I am capable

Of completing the task.

I must be resolute

And make my best effort:

Nothing is gained without struggle.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

My Master and Me

The world is a huge place

I take up so little space.

My master is strong

I do as she says and come along.

Every day is an adventure

My thoughts are sweet and pure.

I am a puppy dog

I like it when we jog.

My master is the leader

I try hard to delight her.

I have great love and joy

I am better than any toy.

My master is adorable

I please her when I am able.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Positive Experience

It is great to be writing again
Even if I am not inspired
Perhaps the daily practice
Will eventually lead to revelation.

I use prompts and exercises
To get the words flowing
Anything to get my mind going
In a productive direction.

I write to please myself
With little thought of
Anyone else who might
Read my feeble attempts.

It is a positive experience
Putting words on the page
Even if I do not think them
As good as those in the past.

A little time and I will have
An abundance of pieces
Written with more effort
Than if I had not tried at all.

From 2000

I Am One

I am one

But not so little

That none can see

My delicate face.

Tears define me

As days slip by

In slow secession

With no apology.

I am one

A teddy bear

With deep hazel eyes

That drivel cold.

My being is huge

Hungry with grand illumination

Walking in buried shadow

Becoming what I will.

I am one

A goddess living

In LOVE with life

And a man of substance.

May 13, 2000

New Poem

You Always Need Poetry

You ask how solitary experience thrills

Patriots who value good tradition.

Think about love between diverse neighbors;

They think liberty is free.

Imagine speech from a thousand books

Can shine through the night like a full moon.

Language must protect and defend

The foundation of our independence,

And bless each peaceful dream

With happiness, opportunity, and immense hope.

Remember God gives us help with life;

Opinion must matter more than our majesty.

Every human family that shall manage to feel love

Shall come together in cozy community.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

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