Exercise 1: Desert islands
From Writing Your Self 

(a)  What and who do you most miss and why. I miss my Mom. She is dependent on my help and I worry about her whenever we are separated. I love her very much and she is very important to me. I miss my computer because it is a communication tool I use daily. Without the computer I would be out of touch with many people I care about.

(b) What and who are you glad to have left behind. I am glad I do not have to deal with my sister-in-law Linda. We do not get along well and it would be a relief not to have to worry about pleasing her. I am glad the television would be left behind. I do not like television very much. I could definitely do without its intrusion in my life.

(c)  The two things you have been allowed to bring with you – why you chose them (nothing which requires electricity to make it work!) I would bring a notebook and pen so that I could record my experience and write poems. I would also bring Hope, my puppy dog, so that I would be less upset and more comfortable.

(d) How you would cope with solitude. I would be fine. I would spend time exploring the island with Hope. I would write about what I found on the island. I would take the time to write where I have not time for it when I am distracted by so many things in regular life. I would spend time meditating to improve my outlook.

I have not done one of these in quite a while. Life has been intruding on my time. I cannot find the last entry that had the books I had read so I am going back a bit on what I have read. That has been my major leisure time pursuit for quite some time. I have read the following books: The Book of Destiny by Carlos Burrios, this was about the Mayan predictions for 2012. It is not really the end of the world. Day After Night by Anita Diamant, which is about women in detainee camps after the concentration camps of the Nazis. It was very good. Angel Time by Anne Rice which was an excellent novel about a man who meets and angel. Fragment by William Fahy which was a decent book about a find that astounds the world. Homeland by Barbara Hambly which is a novel with letters from a woman in the north and one in the south during the Civil War. It was very good. Hardball by Sara Paretsky. A very good detective novel. Say You’re One Of Them by Uwem Akpan is a collection of short stories. Even though it was an Oprah Book Club pick I did not like it. It was overwhelmingly depressing and not good for anyone. The Case For God by Karen Armstrong is an excellent book about how the concept of God has developed through the ages. I highly recommend it. Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel is a novel about one of the men who lived during the time of Henry VIII. It is a very good novel and I would recommend it to anyone interested in the history of those times. Home For Christmas by Andrew M. Greely is an excellent novel about a soldier and his life. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneggar is wonderful. It is a ghost story with a twist. Under the Dome by Stephen King is one of the best novels I have read in some time. This story rivals The Stand. A Christmas Promise by Anne Perry is a very good Christmas novel. "Only the Super-Rich can Save us" by Ralph Nader is a very good story. It is a fiction, but would be so wonderful if it were real. The Christmas List by Richard Paul Evans is a beautiful Christmas novel about redemption in a wayward world. The Memoirs of Mary Queen of Scots by Carolly Erickson is a great novel about the disposed queen and her life.

 

Alex came home over Thanksgiving and we had a very good visit. We met his girlfriend and she seems like a very nice girl. She is very pretty. I am glad he is seeing someone he met in real life and not just on the computer.

 

Mom is not doing very well. Her Parkinson’s Disease symptoms are getting worse and there is very little the medical community can do about it. I guess she is slipping into a permanent decline. I hate to see this as I love her so much. A couple of weeks ago she could not remember where Michael’s was or what kind of store it was and we have been there hundreds of times. I am worried about her, but can only continue to care for her as I do.

 

The pain I have in my legs and knees is not according to my orthopedist in my legs and knees but in the sciatic nerve. I am in a $550.00 back brace to help with it, but it does not seem to be doing a lot of good.

 

Mom got her new building, but we have not gotten much moved into it because of my pain. I hope soon that I will be able to carry more.

 

Mom wants to get rid of Ko-Ko because she has not trained to the paper very well. I want her here, but I do not know if I will be able to convince Mom to keep her. I love the little fur ball.

 

Alex is not coming home for Christmas. He is going to Pensacola with his girlfriend. That is last I heard anyway.

 

Mom got Cashback Rewards from Discover that we redeemed as Borders gift cards. She had $150.00 and she let me have some of them. I got the new Bible software GLO which is absolutely wonderful. It has video, pictures, artwork, KJV, NIV, NIV Study Bible and integrates  all kinds of helps. I love it and would recommend it to anyone interested in studying the Bible. I also got some writing books and a stuffed panda bear. These were my Christmas presents.

 

We have been very busy with doctor appointments and errands. I have tried to keep up with the postings in JournalWriting, but sometimes fall behind. I have not been journaling. I think I needed a break. Maybe after the New Year I will begin doing it daily again. I just cannot seem to do it all the time.

 

Hope the holidays are wonderful for everyone.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

I am thankful:

 

1.     I have been reading so many excellent books.

2.    My Mom got her storage building.

3.    My Mom was able to get great shelves to go in the building because I called and found them and I negotiated a 10% discount on them from Lowes.

4.    I found so many pair of jeans and pants in storage at my present size that I will not have to buy more.

5.    Hope and I have been walking most days.

6.    I got a haircut at Fantastic Sam’s last week.

7.    The dental clinic called and I got part of my cleaning done and will get the rest done before the end of December.

8.    I have been sleeping well with no nightmares.

9.    Alex is doing well and still thinking he may come home soon.

10.  We have heat for the cold days and nights.

I am thankful…

 

1.     I had Hope groomed yesterday.

2.    Mom has been home this week.

3.    I bought Under The Dome by Stephen King.

4.    One of the ladies in Journal Writing told me about GoodReads. I am keeping a list of what I am reading on the site.

5.    We ate at Zaxby’s Monday night and it was very good.

6.    Mom is going to get her storage building.

7.    I am reading some very good books.

8.    I am able to wear smaller clothes again.

9.    I am keeping my food journal up to date.

10.  Alex emailed me Tuesday night.

11.  Ko-Ko is healing well.

12.  It was beautiful today and Hope and I walked.

Thursday, we took Ko-Ko to be spayed early in the morning. We ate breakfast at IHOP. Then we went by Sam’s Club and Wal-Mart. We went home and then came back to town to get Ko-Ko. She was whiney all evening. Jeremy called and Mom told him about the storage building. Alex emailed me. I watched The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural.

 

Friday, Mom blew some leaves and I measured possible locations for the storage building. Ko-Ko was feeling much better. I read and computed a good bit. Mom watched wrestling.

 

Saturday, I blew leaves and cleaned my bathroom. Jeremy came by and looked at the locations we were considering for the storage building. Mom spent the night with June at her new apartment. I stayed up late reading and computing.

 

Sunday, Mom came home at about 11:00 in the morning. My sister-in-law, Linda visited. I read and computed.

 

Monday, we took three pair of Mom’s pants to be hemmed. Both Mom and I are short enough we either have to have a lot of things hemmed or roll up the legs. I read and computed. I watched Heroes and Trauma.

 

Tuesday, I washed four loads of clothes. It rained all day so Hope and I were not able to walk. I read and computed.

 

Today, we took Hope to Pet Set to have her groomed. We went to the chiropractor and were adjusted. We went by the Post Office and dropped off two bills to go on to their destinations. We stopped by Pet Co, I went in, bought Potty Mouth for all the dogs so that Ko-Ko does not eat their poop, and Joint Support III for Hope and Penny. We went to Texaco and I pumped gas into the Explorer. We went to the place that has storage buildings; I went in and put down Mom’s $100.00 deposit on the building she wants. We stopped at the Flowers Bakery Store and picked up some treats. We went by the library, but they were closed for the holiday. We stopped by Wal-Mart and they did not have what I wanted for the price I wanted. We went to Sam’s Club and I bought Under The Dome by Stephen King and Mom bought a gallon of milk. We went back and picked Hope up minus all her body hair. When we got home we ate treats for lunch. Hope and I walked even though it was damp outside. I read and computed. I watched Mercy.

 

That about does it for now.

 

Always,

Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry Thirty – Siblings
Tuesday, November 10, 2009

 

My siblings were both so much older than I that we were not really ever close. My Mom tells me that I was close to my brother, James, when I was very young. I do not remember much of that time. James was fourteen and Melvin was twelve when I was born. By the time I really remember much about my brothers they were married and living on their own. I became an aunt at five years old. My nephews and nieces were more like siblings than were my brothers. I grew up with them and they were often around. When my oldest nephew, Jim, was killed in January of 1996, I was devastated because we were best friends. Jim had many problems, but his attitude toward me was always loving. My niece, Leigh, and I are very close even today. My nephew, Jeremy, is charged with caring for Mom and me now that James is gone. He and I have very good communication, though he stays so busy we rarely see one another.

 

Now that my brother, James, is dead and my brother, Melvin, has alienated himself from the family for years, I feel I have no siblings. I am glad that James seemed to accept me before he died. He would be proud of me for losing the weight I have since his death. He encouraged me to try to lose the weight. I promised James that I would take care of Mom and I feel close to him at times when I am doing things for her.

 

I do remember while I was young the family went to Lake Allatoona and Lake Lanier together during the summers. James always had a boat and I would water-ski while he drove or we would ski together while Dad drove. Mom and Dad bought a boat from James and we would have more than one boat at the lake.

 

My family was very poor before I was born and James encouraged my parents to become more successful. He was always trying to do better than he had before and his success helped spur my Dad to try harder. James helped me whenever I had a bad time, but he was often verbally abusive of me. He always thought I could accomplish more than I did. He could not abide stupidity and would chide me when I made mistakes.

 

My brother, James, was always my hero. He took care of the family and was always strong in difficult situations. I miss him so much now. I sometimes wish I could turn to my brother, Melvin, but he is no longer family by his own choice. I could get in touch with him, but if he will have nothing to do with my Mom, I cannot be close to him. My Mom has done nothing to deserve his desertion.

 

I am so glad James was my brother. He was a wonderful sibling, always doing what an older brother should. We did not have sibling rivalry. We accepted that he was the oldest and depended on and I was the youngest and the baby of the family. Although I disappointed James often over the years, I finally made him proud before he died.

 

Always,
Jo Ann

Creative Journal – Entry Twenty-nine – Health

Monday, November 09, 2009

 

My health is relatively good. Of course having Schizoaffective Disorder disqualifies me from excellent health, but some people do not count mental health as part of health. The insurance companies use very different rules for physical and mental disorders. Physical disorders are covered by insurance no matter how long or severe they are, but mental disorders are constrained by limits on duration and severity. If I were physically disabled insurance would pay for anything I need, but since I have a mental disability some of my care is not covered. I cannot have counseling because it is not fully covered by my insurance. Of course, Medicare has limits that are even stricter than regular insurance. I must be careful that I do not overstep the coverage of Medicare and medically needy Medicaid.

 

My physical health is very good. I do have acid reflux, but Nexium controls that. I also have some pain in my left leg, but chiropractic treatment and a NSAID pain reliever make it bearable. I have lost twenty-five pounds since March so I am healthier than I was. I have gone from a size eighteen to a size fourteen in many clothes. I still need a size sixteen in some things that run small, but it is a definite improvement. I would still like to lose a bit more weight, but I am able to exert myself in ways that would not have been possible a few months ago. I exercise almost every day and that improves my health.

 

I should probably go to bed earlier to get the recommended eight hours of sleep required for optimum health, but that just is not something I am willing to do these days. I have gotten in a pattern of staying up later and I enjoy it. I feel that some enjoyment contributes to good health.

 

I am fortunate in that my Medicare and medically needy Medicaid pay for most of my healthcare. There is no way that I would get adequate care if these two programs did not exist. The medically needy Medicaid is particularly good because it helps pay the costs that Medicare does not cover. I would not be able to afford the medications that keep me functioning were it not for medically needy Medicaid. There are many people with problems similar to mine who do not have health coverage and are unable to afford medication and minimal care. Sometimes these people have severe problems because they are not treated. I am fortunate that I have qualified for these programs. I would not be healthy without proper care.

 

Because I am in relatively good health, I am able to care for my Mom whose health is quite poor. Her Parkinson’s disease is not severe, but along with her other health problems she is fairly ill. The numbness she has in her legs and feet make her stumble at times, and her balance is not very good. She has a number of conditions that must be regularly medicated and monitored by her doctors. I manage her healthcare and her medication. It takes a great deal of organization to stay abreast of all she needs. I am able to coordinate her care with minimal problems.

 

I hope I continue in good health. I take care that I am able to do what needs to be done.

 

May all of you live in good health.

 

Always,

Jo Ann