Well I finally figured out how to place the link to BlogShares on my blog. That was an experience. I was shocked to find out the value of my blog. The values of the other blogs I would like to buy into are astronomical. I will get started creating a portfolio on there though. That should be fun. I have not done much this afternoon and evening. Mostly I was dealing with the BlogShares thing. I learned a little about it all.
I fixed hot dogs for supper per Alex’s request. That was so easy compared to what I intended to cook.
I read a the introduction and most of chapter one in Don’t Let Your Emotions Run Your Life. I have to do some worksheets so I am procrastinating about that. I will do it eventually, but just not now. I have this weird hang up where I will not write in any books so I have to copy the pages that require my input and I am inclined to leave that until later. I do not see my counselor until Monday so I have a little time in which to do it.
I am glad that today was a quiet day. I needed to relax a little. I probably have a lot of running to do next week. Tomorrow I have to do laundry. I meant to do it today and just did not get to it. Seems the computer monopolized my time.
I am seriously thinking about rejoining eHarmony, but it costs money, and I have precious little of that commodity. Too, my experience with the service in the past were not so good. The matches just were not the quality I was hoping for. I guess I expected men with jobs and a little spare money and that was not how it worked out. One guy I went out with invited Alex and I over to Alabama to spend the weekend with him. We went and that night the guy got really intoxicated and went upstairs and started a fight. He wound up with a gun and somehow he started talking abusively to me. The gun wound up in Alex’s hands pointed at the guy. The police showed up after the gun was out of the way. We got our stuff together and left. That made me a little leery of dating such matches, but I gave it one more shot and wound up with a guy who worked for the Atlanta Police Department. He and I dated for about six months, but I ended it when he continually refused to meet Alex and my Mom. He said he could not do that until he was sure the relationship was going to last, so I gave up. He subsequently lost his job because of a prior DUI. He still calls once in a while especially when he is highly intoxicated, but I have little use for the conversation. I think even though I have some definite problems that I deserve someone who respects me and makes an effort to be involved in my life. I am not looking for someone perfect just someone who is responsible and decent. I am tired of being taken advantage of by people and men in particular. I think it is reasonable to expect some courtesy when dating someone, even if you are not exactly "normal". What is "normal" anyway? I have value even though I am disabled, and if someone is blind to that then it is their loss. I accomplish some things that other people wish they could do, so I am not worthless. I struggle with feeling competent because I do not have a job and contribute to society, but I do things that must be done for my family, so I am not useless.
Mmm… I did not intend to get into self-justification. Sorry. I think I will come back later. Sunday comes soon.
Always,
Jo Ann
Chronicles 
Hey Jo, thanks for your comment on my blog! Haha, I\’m fully aware that we\’re all human beings and each and every human life has worth. But I\’ve chosen to co-opt Ivan\’s term Manzy Panzy so it will be so much more powerful in describing us humans that actually BELIEVE in equality, justice, and the worth of every human life. Calling someone a wuss or a pansy usually insinuates that the person is less than a man, that he is not masculine and therefore he is somehow of less value. I choose to revel in not living up to these immaterial standards of what it means to be a "real man" or masculine, to celebrate in rejecting my "masculinity" and embracing what it means to be "human". In this way, I\’m extremely proud to be a Manzy Panzy 🙂
I support your views. I did not mean to come off as critical. Ivan has a lot of nerve to put such elitist, supremacist, sexist, narrow-minded views on the net. I am glad you had the guts to refute him. He went posting on one of my friends blogs or I would never have found him.Your posts were thoughtful and I thought right on. I will be back to your site.Always,Jo Ann
Have you tried match.com, Jo Ann? Not to be a dating site peddler, but I believe Zen at Afterglow Monitor had quite a few good experiences there (I\’m sure it also depends on where you live…I\’ve found southern men less willing to accept independent women).Also, I\’m glad you found blogshares – it\’s great fun! I wish I had bought more of my own when it came out – I only own 14% 😦
I LIKE your self-justification, it sounds completely sane!
All my experiences with internet dating were less than satisfactory although not as bad as yours were – I wish you luck in your search!
Indigo, I am listed on one such site, but no one ever contacts me. I have not really tried to find someone on there. I guess maybe I should become more active in pursuing it, but I really rather someone contact me.Blogshares is cool. I just wonder when I will actually own my blog. Seems they are not recognizing claims promptly. I won\’t own but about 20% in mine. Two other people bought up all my stock a while ago. I was a little surprised that there was already speculation on my blog.RH, Thanks for the vote of confidence. I am glad it did not come off sounding like a whine. There you go making me feel better about myself again. I do not know about sane but grounded at least.Shar_Bear, Thanks for the good wishes. I don\’t know if I will go looking again or not. I just feel really lonely lately. Sorry your internet dating experience were not great, I think I was just very unlucky. Probably partially my fault.Smiles,Jo Ann
There\’s an answer to your Q about Thich Nat Hanh on my page. elsewhere in the news…"Nothing else is Silly Putty", BUT…grounded is the same as sane.I predict you\’ll spend more and more of your time feeling grounded!
RH, I really like that you think I exhibit sanity. The support is awesome. I think you are right about my feeling grounded more of the time. I am growing more comfortable with myself. It takes a measure of acceptance to feel sane. The diagnosis I have sometimes undermines my feelings about myself, because it does not usually connotate sanity, but I am learning I am not so crazy. I guess I have spent a lot of time hung up on the stigma attached to my illness, and now I feel less defined by that. I am a human being not a condition. This has been a long road, and it still has potholes, but I am traveling onward.Smiles,Jo Ann