Another Day, Another Experience

 

Well, the squirt bottle does not work all the time to stop Hope from attacking Penny. I soaked her with it last night and she just kept going after Penny. I had to tie her up for about an hour to separate them.

 

Chatted with Alex long enough to tell him I love him today. He was getting ready to go to work.

 

James went to see a surgeon today to schedule his biopsy.

 

The DirecTv technician came about 5:00. He realigned the dish and changed the transponder, but that did not fix the problem. He decided it was the wiring and ran new wire. That fixed it and the television is functioning fine now. Hope was scared of the technician and hid in my room the whole time he was here. That is very unusual for Hope she usually befriends everyone. She finally started acting more normal after he had been gone an hour or so.

 

My uncle sent my Mom some onions and tomato seed. She planted about half of the onions and is giving the rest to my brother, James, to plant in his garden. The tomato seed are for next year.

 

I had wanted to find some boxes of all occasion cards since the other day when I had such a limited choice of card for my mother’s birthday. I knew I had a few nice boxes of them, but I was unable to get to them. I thought they were on a shelf I could not access. Last night, I moved stuff around so I could get to the place where I thought the cards were, but they were not there. I was determined to find them so I tried another shelf. They wound up being under it. I was so happy I found them. I wrote Richard, Alex’s father, a birthday card last night. This morning I wrote Reba, my best friend, a card congratulating her on her new house. I had not sent out any cards in a long time. Maybe this writing thing is paying off. I hope I will start some creative writing soon.

 

I think we are going to town tomorrow. Mom has a jacket at the dry cleaners to pick up and I need to get a few groceries. I also have a $20.00 rebate check to cash from AT&T. That money will come in handy. Maybe we can have lunch in town. I would really like a restaurant meal.

 

I think Mom may go out of town for the weekend. I am looking forward to having the house to myself for a few days. I can play my music louder when she is not home. I do not have to worry about doing stuff outside when she is gone and can enjoy reading and computing without feeling guilty for not spending the time with her.

 

I am so fortunate to have the wonderful Mom I do. I do not know how I would get along without her. We do not always agree, but we get along well most of the time. I am blessed with a terrific son too. I am so proud of Alex. He has grown up to be an exceptional young man. I am lucky to have Hope who loves me and allows me to love her. She makes the days more joyful.

 

I am grateful for books to read, this blog to write in, and a decent home to live in. There are so many blessings in my life. Things are not ideal, but I am mostly happy and that is great.

 

Always,

Jo Ann Wink 

Slow Tuesday


There is not much going on today. I had homemade vegetable soup for lunch. Unfortunately, it was not very filling.

I tried the spray bottle on Hope as Dramma suggested and it seems to work. She stops bothering Penny immediately.

My brother, James, is going to have a biopsy on his stomach. We are hoping it is not cancer, but are afraid it is. He has survived lung cancer so maybe he will survive this. I am very worried.

Alex and I chatted a few minutes before he went to work today. He says he has no specific time to get off from work. He works until he is finished. He is enjoying the truck. It makes it so he does not have to walk a mile to work and back. He had been standing in line at the drive-thru, so having a truck to drive up in is much better.

Our TV is freezing up on audio and video so DirecTv is coming out tomorrow to fix it. I think the dish needs aligning, but we cannot do it.

I actually watched TV last night. The NBC line up interested me. I watched Chuck, Heroes, and JourneyMan. I enjoyed all three, but particularly liked JourneyMan. It surprised me because I usually do not watch TV. Mom watched The Bachelor. She is a fan of that show. I think she has watched it every season it was televised.

Mom wondered if she could start a blog. I told her sure, but she would have to type. She said she would wait. I set her up with internet access on her laptop about a month ago. She does not use the internet much. She really does not understand surfing the net. I am trying to teach her, but she forgets what I tell her from one time to the next. She enjoys playing games on the laptop, but uses it for little else.

I am hoping my computer will stay viable for another few years. I would lose a lot of programming if I had to change machines because I downloaded games from the internet and do not have the codes to make them work if I loaded them on a new computer. I also have no idea how to migrate iTunes and I have over 20GB of music on my iPod. The other factor is that I have no money for a new computer. Most of the time my computer works very well. I have thought of upgrading to Vista, but am not sure that it would work correctly so I am sticking with XP.

I am trying to make sure I do not have to buy anything else this month because I only have $47.83 left in my bank account. This is better than last month when at this time I only had $1.69. I almost over drew my account last month because I forgot to enter my MSN payment in my account register.

I am using OneNote and Windows Live Writer to do this entry. I learned a little more about WLW in the last couple of days and think I might grow to like it. I still wish I could just use Word because of the grammar checker, but I have learned to just copy and paste to it for proofing and use the other programs for posting.

I hope everyone is having a good week.

Always,

Jo Ann

Just a Note with Pictures


I vacuumed the house yesterday. The new Kirby does a good job. Only thing I do not like about it is that it tries to suck up all the throw rugs Mom has around the house. Makes vacuuming an adventure.

Hope and Penny got baths this morning and I blew them dry. They smell so good when they are freshly bathed. They never smell bad because they get weekly baths.

The president is going to veto a bill to help insure kids and I think this is very wrong-headed of him. Alex was on PeachCare or he would have had no insurance as a child. Low-income families need the aid to have insurance coverage.

Mom came home early yesterday and did not go to the Round Up at church. She did go to Sunday school and Church dressed as a cowgirl though. Her friend, June, went to see her grandson, Bradley, off into the Army. He joined for two years.

Today, Mom and June are off to town again.

I wish I could crank the lawn mower. I would mow the yard. It is getting a little high, but the mower is too hard for me to start.

Mom picked tomatoes this morning, and I had a bologna, cheese, and tomato sandwich for lunch. The fresh tomato makes a sandwich delicious.

Alex and I chatted for a very few minutes last night. He reiterated that being a Marine is exactly what he wants to do. I feel bad that he did not get bonuses like Bradley did for going into the Army, but he is happy with it. He is committed to his service and says he wants to do forty years in the Marine Corps. I am so glad he is doing what he loves.

I want to put up a list of the books I have read this year, but I think it is too much work to get the pictures to show and everything. I have to finish the book I am reading. Using the computer takes away from my reading time.

Hope proved that she is still a terrorist dog by eating one of my nice notepads yesterday. I call her terrorist dog when she misbehaves or devil dog. Devil Dog is a nickname for Marines so I do not consider it a slur to call her that. I have been hoping, as she grew older that she would mellow some, but seems that is wishful thinking. She still bedevils Penny by chewing on her ears quite often. I do not understand why Penny will not take up for herself. If anybody has any suggestions on how to stop Hope from biting Penny’s ears, I would love to hear them. I hate tying her up to keep her away from Penny, but I cannot think of anything else to do.

I took Mom’s picture in her cowgirl outfit today. I hope to post the pictures in this entry. If that does not work out you can see them in an album called My Mom.

Always,

Jo Ann

    

Two Poems and Some Thoughts

 

Alex left for the Marine Corps on June 4, 2006. I wrote this poem while he was in boot camp. I am glad that we are in touch with each other more often now. I do not miss him quite as much as I did then.

 

Son Away

 

You have left your place

Emptiness fills the space.

I miss your voice, your face.

 

You are brave and true.

I am very proud of you,

But fearful too.

 

No other person can

Touch me as you can

Because you are my young man.

 

My mother’s heart

Is torn apart,

But it’s your life’s start.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© Sunday, August 20, 2006

 

After the university shooting in April, I wrote this poem. I titled it Massacre because I wanted it to have universality. I thought about what had happened and thought there were so many other situations to which the poem could apply.

 

Massacre

 

Quiet broken

Cries terror

Shots blasting

Blood ripped bone.

 

Unknown reason

Thoughts in shambles

Desperate mind

Ruthless evil.

 

Terrible waste

Sweet innocence

Lost forever

Senseless destruction, death.

 

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

© Wednesday, April 18, 2007

 

That is the last time I wrote a poem. In fact, I had not written anything until I posted on the blog Friday. I hope writing here will make it easier to write creatively elsewhere.

 

Today is Round Up at my church, where I do not go, so my Mom dressed up as a cowgirl. I may post a picture of her later. I did not have good light to take one before she left this morning.

 

Church is too political for me to feel comfortable there. I still love God and pray, but the organized religion thing is a little much for me. There are so many things the Baptist Church is against that I am not at ease with it anymore. I sometimes miss the fellowship, but so many of the people believe things I disagree with that it is better not to be around them. I guess I am too liberal to be a good Southern Baptist now. I am a member of Humanity’s Team and that resonates with me. I would like to see all people embrace one another as One. I think peace could be achieved if we could lay aside fundamentalist ideologies.

 

I am just hanging out today. I sleep on a regular schedule nowadays, so I got up at about 7:20am. Penny, my mother’s dog, was barking at my bedroom door and Hope got so excited she was pouncing all over the bed and me. Hope has only been sleeping in the bed with me for a week. She slept in the crate before because I thought she would tear up things if she were left loose. Sleeping with me seems to be working out though. Oh, you should look at Hope’s pictures in the album Hope, My Puppy Dog. She is a real cutie.

 

Mom stayed out until 8:00 last night. She went to yard sales, visited a friend, went to JC Penny Outlet, and just had an awesome time with her friend June. I am so glad she has such a good friend. Since Mom cannot drive, she would not get to do near as many things if she did not have someone who cares about her. She brought me home some clothes from the yard sales. I am not big on used clothes, but these look nice and I can at least wear them around here. The long sleeved pajamas will come in handy this winter… if we have a winter. Things have gotten so warm that we hardly have any cold in Georgia anymore. It is like living in the Tropics.

 

Speaking of pajamas, I am still in mine. I better get dressed and do some housework. I do all that around here these days. Mom works outdoors, but I take care of the indoors. I should do a better job of it, but there is so much clutter in the house that it is hard to clean. It is not dirty anyway, just not spotless like my Mom likes things.

 

Please read the two previous entries to catch up with what is going on if you have not been here in a while or are new.

 

I hope you have a good day.

 

Always,

Jo Ann Wink

Just a Bit of Information

 

I have not written about the change in Alex’s MOS. He was dropped from intelligence training and put in flight equipment support. He had to learn to rig parachutes and fix all the survival gear on planes. He does not like his job much and intends to go back to intelligence training as soon as he can.

 

Alex is a Lance Corporal now. He hopes to advance rapidly from now forward. He has talked of going back to Parris Island as a drill instructor, but does not know if he will meet the physical requirements.

 

I am hoping Alex will decide to go to officers training. I would love to see him do it.

 

Today is Mom’s seventy-eighth birthday. She got up before I did at 7:00am and was already gone for the day. I hope she has a wonderful day.

 

I have to take my Nikon D50 in for maintenance. It is working fine and everything, but my extended warranty runs out in February and I want to make sure it is in good shape.

 

My all-in-one no longer works as a fax machine. I broke it around Christmas last year and let the warranty run out before I realized it was broken. I called HP, no joke, two days after the warranty ran out and they would not fix my all-in-one. It was terrible. The scanner, printer, copier functions still work fine. I just cannot send a fax, so I guess it is okay. I do not have the money for a new one.

 

I worked for hours on the blog yesterday. The blog was not showing up on the opening page. I finally found that by using a template I could make the blog appear. I did that and moved some modules around. I am not really pleased with the theme so I may be changing that a bit. I cleared the links that no longer went to blogs and did some general housekeeping. I hope I have made some improvements.

 

I decided yesterday that I did not like using Live Writer. I will be using OneNote and the regular blog posting mechanism to do my blogs.

 

Always,

Jo Ann Wink

Update – With so much to catch up on

 

Well, it has been a long time since I have written here. Alex came home for Christmas. I decided to get an iPod. Mom’s health has improved.

Mom got an implant for her back pain. It is a stimulator which sends electrical impulses up her spine and short circuits pain impulses to her brain. She is not in pain at all now and before it had almost completely incapacitated her.

Alex came home in June and got his Volvo and took it to his duty station at Cherry Point, North Carolina. The car broke down before the week was out so he had no transportation.

I bought a Bose SoundDock for my iPod. It makes it so I can listen to the iPod as stereo anywhere in the house.

My brother James bought a new truck and sold his Explorer Sport Trac to my Mom. She wanted to sell her 2000 Ranger to Alex. I got in touch with him and he was delighted to have the chance to buy the Ranger. His father, Richard, went and picked up the Volvo and Alex from Cherry Point and brought Alex to Atlanta on August 31. Richard now owns the Volvo again since he gave it to Alex in the first place. We picked Alex up downtown and got home about 2:30am on September 1. Alex got the truck titled and tagged in his name on September 4. He spent the week with us and went back to Cherry Point on Friday.

My puppy is a year old now and I have had her just over a year. She is a delight. I am so glad that I got her.

I had been using the computer very little because my chair was full of magazines. I finally moved the magazines to the storage building so I have been using the computer more. I am still not writing or doing anything creative… but I think that is going to change. I hope to get back into blogging.

Sunday our 21 year old Kirby stopped working. Monday morning I called the distributor to see how much it would cost to have it rebuilt. He said it would be at least $150.00. I knew the new Kirby machines were selling for $1995.00. I told the distributor that I had been a Kirby dealer and knew they sold the vacuums for less than asking price. He sent his wife out to show us the new Kirby. Somehow my Mom talked them into selling her the new one for only $800.00. Of course we traded the old machine in, but still it amazes me how good a deal Mom got. This new Kirby is self-propelled and a joy to use. I love it. Not bad for the best vacuum in the world.

Yesterday, Mom had to have surgery on an ingrown toenail. I am glad I don’t get those.

I went to my psychiatrist’s office today and got prescription refills for the next five months. I am doing pretty well. I do not have to go to the office as often as I used to.

Alex is going to Iraq in February 2008. I am apprehensive about it, but I know he is doing what he wants to in the Marine Corps, so I am mostly at peace with it. I am sure it will be hard to see him go.

I have read 74 books this year, but I have not been reading as much since I started using the computer more. I do a lot of reading online. I have subscriptions to www.Salon.com and www.TheNewRepublic.com . I really enjoy these two online magazines and I read a lot on www.msnbc.com .

Always,

Jo Ann Wink

Last Week to The Present

Things have settled down slightly this week. Monday, December 4th, in the evening my Mom had what appeared to be a serious stroke. She could not see, did not know my brother and I, could not stand, and was incoherent in her speech. We had to call an ambulance to come take her to the hospital. She stayed in the hospital until Thursday evening. Many tests were done but they were inconclusive. We really don’t know what happened. The only things they found wrong were her potassium levels were low and her blood pressure was very low. I still tend to believe she had a stroke, but I guess we will never know.

Alex may get home for Christmas. I am hoping so. I want to see my young man.

Mom got her boot off her broken ankle yesterday. She is only wearing a brace now.

I got a new pair of Nike Shox yesterday. I like my new shoes. I just wish the ones I got a year ago had not worn out already. Shoes are expensive.

My puppy, Hope, is growing fast. She weighs 9.3 pounds. I hope she will not get much bigger. Her training is going well. She still is kind of wild, but she is learning to behave. She gets very excited when we have visitors. I expect she and Alex will have a lot of fun.

I have read 59 books so far this year. Some of the Christmas novels have been extremely enjoyable. I have not been writing. I just do not seem to get inspired. Sometimes I think I have lost the talent. I hope maybe the New Year will bring some writing back to me.

I am thinking of getting an iPod or a Zune for Christmas. I am confused about which would be the best. I like the idea of the iPod because it has been out longer, but I like the idea of the Zune because it uses wma files. I wish I knew if it was easy to get music from CDs to an iPod. I have too many CDs not to use them with my portable media player.

I downloaded Live Writer. I hope it works well. I still like using OneNote to write my posts but I will transfer to Live Writer before posting.

May all of you have Merry Christmas.

Always,

Jo Ann

Long Overdue

 

It has been a long time since I have made an entry here. I cannot promise I will be posting more frequently in the future, but I think it is about time I let you know what has been going on. A lot has happened since I wrote last.

 

Alex turned eighteen on May 16th and we had a nice outing. He graduated on May 27th. That was a relief because he had had some trouble with his math. As he had planned he entered the Marine Corps on June 4th. I did not cry when he left which was good. He did not pass the initial strength test so he had to go in special training company for a week which changed his graduation date. Then he caught double pneumonia and was again in special training company. That lasted about a month and changed his graduation date again. He became quite depressed, but he never wanted to quit. His paternal grandfather died on August 1st but he chose not to come home because he had just returned to regular training. I went to the memorial service and sent him the program from it.

 

Sunday, September 17th Mom and I went to church and then went to Wal-Mart to shop. As we parked the truck we saw some people selling Shih Tzu puppies. We went over to them and looked at the puppies. We decided to go in and do our shopping and I would think about getting the puppy. When we came out I had basically decided that a puppy would be too much expense for me to afford. Mom asked me if I wanted to get the puppy and I told her I did not think so. She said, "Well if you want her we better go over there and get her." I broke down and said yes I wanted to get her. Mom got them to come off their asking price by $150.00. As we rode home we were trying to come up with a name. Mom suggested Hope because we could only hope that my brother James would not make me get rid of her. She became Hope. She is a cute little brown and white fluff ball.

 

Alex graduation date was finally set at Friday, October 13th. Mom and I planned to go to Parris Island for the ceremony, but on October 4th Mom broke her ankle. I almost gave up on being able to have her go, but my niece offered to drive us up there and help with the wheelchair. We went with her three kids along. On Thursday the morning of family day we went to watch the motivational run, but we did not see Alex. All the guys looked alike. We later watched the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor ceremony and we were able to find Alex in his company. We all got misty eyed seeing Alex for the first time in months. After the ceremony was over we were able to spend the rest of the afternoon with Alex. He was so happy to see us as we were to see him. It was so good walking arm in arm with him. He finally had made it through boot camp and we were all thrilled. It was wonderful spending time with him and we were all sad that the day had to end. Friday morning he graduated. We took him to the hotel and he got the first long shower he had had in months and he dressed in civilian clothes. He was ecstatic. We drove home with Alex. He told stories of boot camp along the way. It was so good just hearing him talk. He had ten days leave.

 

Alex had forgotten the password to his computer while he was gone. He decided to get a new laptop. We went to Best Buy and he got an awesome HP machine.

 

Richard, Alex’s father, cancelled the insurance on Alex’s car while he was in boot camp so Alex was not able to drive his car while he was on leave. On Monday I took Alex to the interment of his grandfather. That ceremony was heart rending. His grandmother invited me to go to dinner with the rest of the family and we had a very nice meal. Afterward I was invited to Alex’s grandmother’s condominium to spend some time with them. While I was there Richard and I went for a walk and talked a lot. The family was going to the Atlanta Aquarium the next day and they invited me to spend the night and go with them. I called my Mom and asked her if it would be okay because she was watching my puppy. She reluctantly said yes. The visit to the aquarium was enjoyable. Alex and I returned home late in the afternoon.

 

Alex spent a good bit of time with his friends while he was on leave. Mom and I were a little disappointed that he did not spend more time with us. The ten days flew by. We took him to the Greyhound station to catch the bus to Marine Combat Training. We did not hear from Alex for weeks. He finally called us and said he had been in the field all the time without the chance to write. He would be going from MCT to Virginia Beach for training in intelligence. He would call with his address when he got there because he wanted me to ship his laptop and some other things to him. He was very happy when he got to Virginia Beach. Everything was to his liking. It was a week before he got the address, but he called a couple of times before then. I shipped him his package overnight and it arrived Wednesday before Thanksgiving. It was 33 pounds and cost $97.75 to ship. He was very happy to get it. Unfortunately Alex was not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving. He did get to go home with a buddy whose family lived nearby and so had a nice dinner.

 

My cousin Martha and her husband Steve came and had Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and I. Mom prepared a wonderful meal. We are still polishing off the leftovers.

 

Hope is a very frisky puppy so I decided to enroll her in obedience class. The instructor allowed Mom to bring Penny along to class for free. The training is going well, but Hope is still a little character.

 

My computer went crazy while Alex was here on leave and I thought I was going to have to reload all its programming. Thankfully I reinstalled the updates that had not installed because I shut the computer down in the middle of the process and it has been working fine since.

 

I am hoping that Alex will get to come home for Christmas. He thinks his first duty station will be Iraq so any time we can spend together is very precious. I am hoping he does not have to go to Iraq, but he is doing what he wants to do with his life. Even though I am very worried I am happy that he is enjoying his life.

 

Mom is in a lot of pain with her back which has been bothering her for over a year. It has gotten so bad it is debilitating. She will have a nerve block on December 20th, but I wish there were something they could do for the pain before then.

 

I lost twelve pounds, but unfortunately over the last couple of weeks I gained five of it back. It is so hard to maintain a consistent loss.

 

I have read fifty-three books so far this year. I was hoping to read more, but seems like I stay too busy to read as much as I would like.

 

I hope all my friends here in blogland are doing well. I just have not felt like writing anything so my space has suffered.

 

I hope all of you have Happy Holidays.

 

Always,

Jo Ann 

Update and A Poem

 

Things here have been rocking along. My Mom made a trip to Thomasville to visit my aunt and came home Monday, February 27. When she got home, she was standing at the top of the steps on the porch and next thing she remembers she was fallen on the ground. She would not let me take her to the hospital, but last Friday I took her to her primary care physician because she was in a lot of pain. He thought she had fractured her tailbone. I am surprised he did not order an x-ray to find out for sure. Today I took her to the neurologist and he is ordering tests to see what happened to her. He thinks it may have been a stroke or a seizure. I wish I could have prevented her getting hurt, but I had just gone inside to carry in some of her luggage. Life is so fragile.

 

Mom’s acid reflux is much better since her digestive care specialist put her back on Reglan. I am so glad that she is more comfortable in that way now. Her tremors do not seem any worse so it should not be detrimental to continue this medicinal regimen.

 

My MRI and sonogram results came back and they were normal. That was a relief. If only I could get over my chronic fatigue syndrome and schizoaffective disorder, I would be fine… but that is only wishful thinking. I saw some people today at Mom’s doctor’s office that made me very grateful that things with us are as good as they are. You do not have to look too far to find things to be thankful for, there is so much suffering in the world.

 

I have been doing some buying on eBay. I bought a camera bag, some shoes for Alex, a calendar for Mom, and a computer game for Alex. I have only bought two other items on eBay and one of those I had to dispute because the person sold me OEM software as the complete item. I am thinking of trying to sell some stuff, even got a book on how to do business on eBay.

 

My love finally got back from his trip and I saw him on Saturday. We had a long day together and it was wonderful. He cooked for me again and it was delicious. We rewired the mast on his sail boat. It was sunny enough I got a touch of sunburn from being out on his deck.

 

Alex went to regional competition for JROTC color guard on Saturday. He leads his team and they placed third so they are going to state competition.

 

I had a very unpleasant experience with my psychiatrist’s office yesterday. They called Monday afternoon to confirm my appointment. Then yesterday morning they called to tell me they needed to reschedule my appointment to Thursday because my doctor would be out of the office yesterday. I was not happy because I also had an appointment to see my new counselor and it is an hour drive to their office. So I tried to reschedule the appointment with the counselor. She said if I did not come to the appointment as scheduled, I would have to pay anyway. This made me livid. I called the office back and asked if I could see my doctor’s nurse and they would not answer me. I went to the appointment with the counselor with the full intention of telling her to f**k off. Luckily the drive gave me some time to calm down. I was still mad as hell when I got to the office, but I was in control of my anger. I think if doctors can cancel appointments at the last minute without being charged for it by their customers that the same should be fair for patients. I told the counselor that I was angry and that I did not feel I had been treated fairly. I told her that I had come to see her with intent to curse her out and tell her off. She said she could understand why I was angry. I am probably going to see her again even though I am not happy about the way she handled the situation. I feel our session yesterday was mostly a waste of time because we spent so much time on my anger over how I had been treated. I stayed in the office after my appointment hoping to see the nurse and imagine my rage when I learned the doctor was in the office and could have seen me. I saw the nurse after a two hour wait. I will take the situation up with the doctor next time I do see him. I am sick and tired of his office staff handling things without an ounce of respect for me. If I were not a long time patient and did I not really like my doctor I would find another place to go, in fact I am thinking of it anyway. I am very proud that I did not go ballistic on everybody in the place yesterday. Anger is not an emotion I handle well, but I was neither loud nor impolite to anyone even though I was enraged.

 

Life Is

 

Life is more fragile

Than an egg shell,

More fleeting

Than a glimpse,

More precious

Than crown jewels.

 

Life is only

Temporary,

Without guarantee,

A passing breath,

Fickle as

A spring breeze.

 

Life is just

An hour given

To treasure,

Or to waste,

So little time

Gone in haste.

 

Life is glorious,

A celebration

With dazzling

Displays,

And tearful

Moments.

 

Life is

For each of us

To live in fullness,

Giving our best,

Thankful for

Our blessings.

 

Life is a gift,

A wonder

Never to be

Squandered,

A time to be

Valued above riches.

 

Life is

All we have,

And all that

Is important

Passes between

Its open and close.

 

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

 

Hope all of you have a good week.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann

Catching Up…

Things have been quite busy since I last posted an entry here. I had appointments every day for one week and several days of the next one. I had my MRI and sonogram, should get the results of both early this coming week.

 

My counselor of several years has moved into another practice and so I cannot see her anymore. I had been seeing her pro bono. Now I will have to pay the new counselor I will be seeing and I honestly don’t think I can afford it. I may only see her every three months. This will be quite a change for me as I was seeing my counselor bi-weekly or at least monthly. I hope it will work out okay.

 

I did get my taxes done and filed electronically and I have already gotten the refunds. I had to use part of the money for a new all-in-one because the red print head had gone out on mine. Even after I replaced the print cartridge, it would not work.

 

Last Sunday I saw my love again. We spent all day together. It was very sweet. He cooked lunch for me and it was absolutely delicious. He laid out the ground rules for living in his house, which I took to mean he is thinking of me moving back as a permanent part of his life. This makes me very happy.

 

When I got home, Mom told me that James knows I am seeing Jeff. He has known for a month or so. He is waiting for Alex to leave before he does something about it. I emailed Jeff to let him know but he has been out of town this week. We are not getting to communicate much because he does not have internet access. He did get my email belatedly and will be thinking about what it means for us. He won’t be back in town until February 27th or later.

 

I finished reading Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson, which was a very good historical novel. I began reading the second book in the Baroque Cycle called The Confusion. The only bad thing about these books is that they are extremely long.

 

I took time to read Recovered, not cured by Richard McLean. This book about Schizophrenia by a Schizophrenic was very good. I have experienced some of the things that were written about in the book. I think for someone wanting to learn about the experience of suffering with Schizophrenia that this would be a good book to give some insight.

 

Alex will be going in the Marines on June 6th. He decided not to postpone his entry because he might lose his slot as a MP. I am not looking forward to his leaving so soon after he graduates, but I have no control over the situation.

 

I hope that I can tell Alex about my seeing Jeff and that he will accept it. He loved Jeff as if he were his Dad at one point, but he despises him now. I would be so pleased if he could look at the situation as one that makes me happy and be understanding.

 

Alex’s father called last night and talked to me a rather long time. It was interesting at the end because he wanted to know how I felt about him. He wants me to come visit him. I told him that was not possible.

 

I have this thing where all my exes still care about me. I don’t really understand it, but I guess it stems from the fact I have never hated them. In some way, there has always been a lot of love left for them.

 

I am looking forward to the next time I see my love, Jeff.

 

Smiles,

Jo Ann