As introduction to this poem I have to say it is a very old poem. Perhaps produced in the late sixties or early seventies. Prior to 1975 at least. So here goes, it is one of those found today.
A Composition of Loving Hope
Why is love so unfair?
It seems so strong
Then fades to indifference
And eventually disappears.
For years it grows,
And then blooms
Bright and fair;
Then it dies.
Passion takes a hold
Then it changes,
Ebbs away,
Replaced by true love.
Love an mystery,
An inept sort
Of curiosity
That welds us together.
A wish, a hope,
Strong and bold
Unafraid of disgrace;
That lingers on.
Incomparable in its depth,
Its unpredictability,
Its sweetness,
And its cruelty.
A beautiful commitment
Of naïve trust,
Sweet and forgiving.
To someone else.
A dream of happiness
Finally come true,
But then all illusions
Are suddenly dispelled.
Left lonely and forlorn;
No one to turn to,
No one to tell,
No way to share the pain.
Still feeling,
Still wanting,
Still needing,
But afraid to ask.
Trying to forget
And only remembering.
Hunting a balm,
But there is no contentment.
Wishing to be free;
Yet, retreating once again.
Almost outside, free;
Now, going back in.
Dreams in the night
Come to haunt;
Remembrances of moments
Light-hearted and happy.
Love, so strange
A luring tempter
Which runs away
Not caring about the pain.
Forever returning
To welcoming arms,
No matter the hurt,
Try again.
Yet, once more
The disappointment returns,
Happiness does not last,
Not with love.
Knowing the outcome,
Why go on searching?
It probably is not real,
Or can not be found.
Ah, but without hope
Why go on living?
It must be real;
Others are content.
Try again,
Fall down,
Contemplate,
Do it once more.
Perhaps, if continued
As a broader search,
Desire will be fulfilled
In a lasting love.
No giving up,
Not now, it is too late.
Forget the drawbacks
And continue on.
It can get worse
Before it gets better,
But it is darkest
Just before the dawn.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
This happens to be one of a group of my earliest poems that was retrieved today. I hope you will enjoy the celebration I will have on the blog in coming days.
I intend to post a few more of the oldest poems. This is the first. It is long, but I love that I got it back in a computer again and now onto this blog. The current poem seems very appropriate for where I am in my life right now. It seems timeless to me. Maybe it should be one of a group I attempt to publish. What is your opinion? Please make a comment below.
Thank you for reading today!
TTYL,
Jo Ann
I have to share some great news with you. A little while ago Mom went out to the storage building to find some shelves for Alex’s room. While out there she had to remove a lot of my stuff. While moving some of it she found a sheet protector box. Not really significant you may think, but when she brought it in and showed it to me. Inside was paper with print on every page. Therein she had brought to me all the missing poetry that has been lost for two years and almost stopped my ever writing again. I now have almost everything I have ever written back together in one room. This is the most significant thing that has happened in a long time. So I hereby proclaim this Missing Poetry Found Party Day! Please post a small tidbit of your own work on your site today. I might even start a new space today to post all the poetry as I transfer it to the hard-drive on my own computer.
I also just installed the complete version of the Oxford English Dictionary on CD and the complete version of Adobe Creative Suite Premium on my computer. I now have access to more art tools than I ever expected including online edited video. It should be fun to explore all these new tools.
Just had to check in and let all of you know my news. I will be putting up poems as I get them into the computer.
Thank you for reading and celebrating today.
Big Smiles and Hugs to All,
Jo Ann
Day 8: Ask For Guidance
Journal Prompts and My Responses
Whose voice do you love the sound of? Why? How does it affect you?
Write down a secret you’ve kept a long time. How does it feel to finally spill it out?
One year before we went on vacation I accidentally spilled a drink in my bed. When I returned home, I blamed it on someone coming into my room while we were gone away. I was so afraid of my mother at the time that I could not admit I had done something she had yelled at me about before. I forgot about this for years, but when it came to me, I was sorry that I had lied. I am not going to tell mother even now. I do not need her scolding at this late date. It feels good to write it down though.
Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion
I went to bed at 3:30AM and woke up when the alarm went off at 10:00. I have managed to already have two arguments with my mother and the day is just beginning. I refuse to let the bickering get me down. It looks like another nice day outside.
I may go out later to do some things with Mom. I think she would like to go to town. I am not sure yet about that though. I have to get a shower soon and make my bed so the room looks better. Things went well with Alex’s grandfather so he gets to stay with them until tomorrow. I was looking forward to his coming back today, but it is okay anyway. Tomorrow should be fun when he gets home.
Mom really wants me to paint some today so I may do that in between being on here.
I should try to get a few things done now. I will let you go and get back later.
Smiles,
Jo Ann
My third entry today is my trip to take Alex to Richard and what I did on the way home. First we got to town too late to eat with Richard, so I basically just dropped Alex off with his father. I went to Best Buy to pick up a few interesting music tracks. I browsed all over the store. I came home with a CD player and gave Alex my older one which is still in really good shape. I also gave Alex’s old CD player to Mom. I bought several new selections of music in all genres. I also bought the newest Sony headphones for Alex and I.
I stopped at one of the old grocery stores in town and picked up about $200.00 worth of groceries and assorted things. I loved the atmosphere there. Very relaxed and all the staff was very helpful, one even helped me get both my buggies to the car and loaded the groceries into the hatchback.
I came home and started burning in my CDs. I bought some of the stuff for my mother and she paid me back. I also brought home two very nice bottles of wine and had a drink tonight. Mom was okay with wine, but she said I could only drink one glass. It has given me a slight buzz, as wine often does. I am still enjoying burning music into the computer.
I may do some updates to my online selection complete with links. I would like to put Echos by Pink Floyd on the site. It is a very cool collection and the title song is awesome.
Still eating my supper. I need to look at some other blogs tonight, but may not get to the whole list. I will browse them at least.
I have to change out a CD. I may be back on later.
Smiles,
Jo Ann
Day 7: Listen to Your Heart
Journal Prompts and My Responses
How does your intuition speak to you? List some hunches you’ve actually followed. What happened?
List the times you chose not to trust your instincts. Why didn’t you? What happened?
Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion
For some reason I felt like I should post this right now. Maybe something is going on today. Someone might be in a similar situation right now and need insight or something. Just a sudden feeling I had. Once in a while this happens for me.
Smiles,
Jo Ann
April 6th for Jo Ann
Friends have a way of sensing your needs right now. Let your pals do something nice for you, especially if you feel overburdened. This is just repayment for all the kindness you’ve given.
You can literally turn your dreams into reality today. Write down messages from your recent dreams, and create something positive from them in your waking everyday life.
You may be torn between doing your own thing and mixing with the group. Perhaps the best course of action is to limit your time with friends so you’ll have a period of rest at day’s end.
This may be an interesting day because of several factors I will write about later today. My personal horoscope is above… this one is from a renowned astrologer. I am not following astrology closely, but just a little in spare time.
I will put up a link to daily horoscopes later today for those who are interested.
I added some new sites to my blog list and link list. I also made my blog my home page on the internet. That way I check here before I go somewhere else. All my contact information except personal address of where I am is now available on the start page.
Right now I have got to go to sleep a while. I stayed up all night, and I have a busy day…
TTYL,
Jo Ann
Well, I have made a lot of progress on BlogShares tonight. I had some time to waste. I also responded to a request for information on one of the personal sites I am still a member of at present. I hope that endeavor goes well. I am not actively into searching, but did notice a few compatible profiles on that site. One asked for a reasonably normal female. I wonder if I fit that category. Any takers out there am I reasonably normal, or no.
I did a little surfing tonight and found a couple of new sites that piqued my interest. One is QuackTrack.com. Which is a search site devoted to blogs. My reminiscences top the charts in several categories. It was also nice to see that this site is at the top of one or two Google searches. I was checking to see how quickly someone could find me by using the email address, it is not to hard in my case. I am not sure whether this is good or not. Even HopefulJo is traceable to this weblog. That is my user name in a lot of places since 1991. Should be interesting what comes of all the accessibility.
I slept to long today. I am still wired for speed right now and bed time is only an hour away. I did get the full version of OneNote today, and it looks like I got a duplicate order which I cannot use. Is anyone interested in buying the program? I would rather receive a payment than go through the hassle of a online return. I have found that I really like this program more than Word for blogging. It lays on top of everything in a small window that is perfect for adding links and the filing system is more intuitive than Word. If anyone is interested just leave an email in the comments area. I actually have three copies still in the shrink wrap and that hard to remove plastic cover.
A selection from Rumi found in Rumi Hidden Music translated by Maryam Mafi & Azima Melita Kolin on page 141. This translates to my concept of the blogosphere:
Never linger too long with the ignorant,
throw stones at their talk.
Walk only with the lovers,
the mirror of the soul gets rusty when
dipped in muddy water.
I liked that very much and the pictures in this book are gorgeous, much like I would like for my book to appear if I ever get one published.
Here is my selection of poetry by myself for today, I reserve the right to add more though. That after all is one of the prerogatives every blogger has to themselves:
Aloneness
Being alone, so very lonely
So afraid of its lasting forever
When all I want is someone
To love, to cherish always.
Yet, being alone clarifies
The feelings spotlighting
Imperfections in my plans
Clearing up my reasoning.
Maybe it is finally time
For me to grow independent
Without anyone to hold to
So that I am true to myself.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
April 24, 1997
I have noticed that this period of time is most conducive for my writing because I have more collected poems during March and April than any other time. I may try to focus on that in coming weeks a little more.
I finally overdrew my checking account really badly. I am still not sure how to remedy that problem. I think setting up a sellers account on Amazon was a very good idea in my present circumstances. Maybe I can sell some of what I currently own to keep up with the debt. I am thinking of Ebay as well, but don’t quite understand that process. There is a lot I cannot part with right now, but there a few recent purchases I could part with still.
I copied a quote I found very interesting to paste here:
God’s provisions are strategically located along the path of your obedience.
C. Elijah Bronner
Here is a further selection of my own poetry:
Our Selves – A Part
Beginning
All that mattered
Our togetherness,
But life is shattering
Fractures happen
Time dissolves
So here we stand
Fine lines etched
Across our faults
Bridge shaken into
Moribund ruins
What mattered
A distant memory
Of longing in loneliness.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
April 29, 1997
That is all I think I can post right now. Thanks for stopping by.
Smiles,
Jo Ann
Day 6: Count Down and Slow Down
Journal Prompts and My Responses
Who and what do you love? Include everything from people and places to objects, songs, and movies.
What does heaven look like? What happens after you die? Paint a word picture of what you truly believe.
Moodlings… On The Simple Abundance Companion
Moving into my day finally. I did not get up until 3:00PM because I was up until 4:30AM. I should accomplish a few things in the next few hours. I am going to go ahead and post this because I want it up for the rest of the day.
The weather here is absolutely gorgeous today. Sunny, bright, beautiful, and warm. Actually it is seventy-three degrees outside.
Alex finally fixed my car, so I should be able to drive it now. He does not leave here until tomorrow at noon. Richard is coming to get him. He should be back early on Thursday. This is much shorter than I expected, but his grandfather had to have an operation today, so they had to postpone his visit. This is par for the course with the Mountz’s. They rarely see Alex, and usually briefly. I do not know why they do not show more interest in this wonderful person.
I need to go test drive my car and grab a shower, so I will do that now. I hope to be back soon.
TTYL,
Jo Ann 
Chronicles 