Otherwise Entertained (5)

Nightmares plagued Morgan, but not only after the horror movies. She often awoke screaming or crying as she had for years. Luckily, she did not always wake Tony. Her husband would not have liked being disturbed during his sleep as frequently as she was terrorized.

In the dreams there were always large hands roaming over her body, and hungry eyes staring at her nakedness. There was never any way to hide. She was trapped and there was no escape. Sometimes she woke short of breath from being covered by a heavy body in the haunting dreams. She knew they were caused by memories she suppressed daily, but she never spoke to anyone about the abuse she had lived through. Her molester had told her he would claim she was crazy if she told anyone. She feared no one would believe her and she felt tarnished. Guilt usually dogged her hours. She had lived the secret as long as she could remember. There were people she protected by her silence. There was too much love involved to destroy other lives. She did not deserve absolution. She was a terrible sinner. She had brought all the suffering on herself and no one could ever understand. At least when she moved out of her parents’ home it finally stopped. She did not have to dress in voluminous clothes anymore. She did not have to hope she went unnoticed.

She was always looking for love. She craved it to fill the emptiness she felt inside her heart. Lust was usually what she found in games she played with neighborhood guys. There had been one serious relationship, but Charlie had never admitted she was his girlfriend. She supposed he was ashamed of her and she could understand because she did not consider herself attractive. That relationship came to a screeching halt one afternoon in his parents’ bedroom. They had finished making love and he had grabbed a loaded gun afterward. He pointed it at her head and began pulling the trigger repeatedly. He shouted he did not want to ever see her again as she ran out of the house. That experience sometimes found her in her dreams as well.

When Tony began courting her in high school, she was quick to respond to his kind words and sweet kisses. It did not take long to win her heart. She was like a homeless puppy craving attention and hoping to be taken home. He was handsome, tall, and generous with money and time. She gave him her body and heart simultaneously. Marriage was something magical she hoped would one day happen. When Tony asked she was ecstatic. The fact they were young did not seem to matter.

Later she could never remember exactly how they became a part of the group who got together several times a week to role-play. She only knew she loved the hours she spent with the special group of guys. Several of them had been acquaintances from her childhood and had grown up along with her. They became good friends over time. None of them were neighborhood guys, so they were not privy to her sordid history.

Otherwise Entertained (4)

One Saturday morning they got up early and packed a cooler full of Diet Coke, Coke, orange juice, and beer. Tony had bought Bacardi 151, Absolut Vodka, and Jack Daniels at the package store the evening before. Morgan made ham and cheese sandwiches and packed barbeque potato chips, Chips Ahoy cookies, and some fruit to carry on their excursion.

It was another first for Morgan. She had never rafted on the Chattahoochee River before. After all the years she had spent boating and water skiing on the area lakes, it was a bit surprising to Tony that she had not experienced this pleasure.

He joked, “You are such a water bug. I don’t know how you missed being a river rat.”

She shrugged and said, “Some people think rapids are dangerous.”

They stopped to pick up Tony’s best friend Michael before they left Metro Atlanta. As daylight filled the sky, they reached their drop off point. Morgan helped stow everything in the raft, pointedly leaving the life jackets jammed in the back with the cooler.

They raced through the rapids making her laugh as the guys horsed around, acting like they were going to fall overboard. When they reached calmer water, Tony tied the cooler to the side of the raft letting the water help keep everything chilled.

Morgan was drinking 151 mixed with Diet Coke and the guys were enjoying other libations. Everything was carefree. They stopped at some cliffs where people were diving. Tony and Michael dared her to climb up and jump off. She did not like the idea, but she was not about to let them think she was afraid. When she got to the top, there was a strange looking man there and he told her if she did not jump, he would push her off and she might die. She glanced at his malformed foot and hurried to the edge of the cliff. She felt a searing hand touch her back and screamed as she dived from the high place. When she told the guys what had happened they laughed and said it was her poetic imagination.

Later that day Michael put his arms around Morgan. When she pulled away, Tony told her, “Chill out. It is okay. We can share.”

She was not so very drunk that she liked the idea and tried to push Michael away. He tightened his grip on her and kissed her. Tony smiled when she looked over at him.

Other strange things happened that day, but Morgan did not like to remember the rest. Some things you had to let go to live in peace with yourself and peace was an important commodity.

The Beginnings Of A Story

I do not know what this will lead to, since I am not really a story writer, but even a poet can dream of writing books…

Otherwise Entertained

She was married, and happily, but being married at seventeen sometimes presented a problem. There were other guys who seemed just so tempting and after all, she had never had many boyfriends. How could she? She was only seventeen.

Sometimes the situations in the game brought her character in close proximity to the other guys. As the only female there, sometimes the characters naturally flirted. Dungeons & Dragons was only a game… She kept reminding herself it was not really real. What happened in Ambazzar could not bleed over into the world she lived in every day.

She had always been the bullied one, the outcast, the last picked for the game. When suddenly one guy began to pay attention to her, she had lost her head. She fell deeply and madly in love with him immediately. She did not know what he said behind her back, like “I put a flag over her head, and did it for my country.” When he asked her to marry him she accepted, no questions asked.

Now she wondered if she did the right thing. When someone else spoke to her softly and caught her eye, she thought perhaps she had made the choice too quickly. Little did she know what the future held, none of them did, or someone would have changed it.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, October 24, 2013

Otherwise Entertained (2)

She knew what some of them were thinking… She did not blame them. She would have probably had the same thought about someone else, but she was not pregnant. She was simply in love. She begged her parents to sign for her to get married even though she was only sixteen. In fact, she threatened to kill herself if they did not allow it. She was a child, acting as a child, but she believed herself an adult.

The wedding was beautiful, not well attended, but beautiful. Only later when she looked back on the photographs would she notice one contained a wasp on her veil. She would then think of Shakespeare, but that was later.

Her husband doted on her at times, and other times he was not so kind. The unkindness could be overlooked because after all, they had wonderful times. The concerts, the name brand shoes, the books he bought, all made her feel special. No one outside her family had ever done such things.

There was alcohol, fast flowing and wild, that made her reckless and subdued her conscience. There were things they did she had never imagined.

Magic users, fighters, thieves, paladins, halflings, and orcs became a big part of their lives. After she finished graduation requirements they moved out of her parents’ house. The apartment was a little place, but she made it a home the best she could.

Time passed enchanted and the future beguiled her…

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, October 24, 2013

Now I am wondering if this is worth pursuing. I would love to hear your thoughts and any suggestions you may have.

Always,
Jo Ann

Ramblings Of A Sleepless Mind

You are not required to stay up all night to reap the benefits of my activity. Please just follow along…

I want to start up my business again, but I don’t have any capital to begin… I guess dreaming is the best I can do. I wish I could win the lottery, but somehow I think that is unlikely since I do not buy tickets… If wishes were horses, beggars would ride…

My dog, Hope, has expensive tastes, she likes pistachios. I can hardly afford them for myself, what am I supposed to do now that the dog begs for them whenever I get the bag out?

What’s on your mind? Funny you should ask, because I have been thinking about trying to start my magazine up online. It would be a literary and art magazine showcasing a wide variety of talent as it was when I published it in print form. I do not know if I have a wide enough network to gather submissions, and I am not sure I have the discretionary time to afford all the effort required, but I am considering it. I have the prerequisite software for it and I think I might be able to secure web hosting… Am I ready to take the reins as editor and publisher again? It is not an easy job, for writers are sometimes troublesome, but I like a challenge… I wonder if I am too old to begin doing it again. It is a huge task and requires diligence… So that is what is on my mind…

Have you ever noticed that as a usual thing every other version Microsoft releases is great? Take Windows 98, great; Windows Millennium, not so good; Windows XP, great; Windows Vista, not so good; Windows 7, great; Windows 8, not so good; Windows 8.1, decent… Why do we beta test for them on every other release? Seems like their software engineers would get it together every time. Maybe they need to quit rushing out versions and wait until they have a solid release…

I just realized it was after 2:00AM… I am wide awake and feeling creative. Why is it that nighttime seems to be the time of ideas for me? I want to be a morning person, but it just does not work for me. I am a hopeless night owl. The daytime world just does not have the appeal of after dark… Is something wrong with me? I wake up when the sun goes down… not the greatest attribute.

I should have known coffee in the afternoon was a mistake, but did that stop me? Not in the least did it dissuade me… Sometimes I disregard the better part of my judgment. So I am up and feeling full of energy halfway through the night…

Why am I still in this place when I really want to move forward? Maybe fear is stopping me, but what is that about? I fear failure, because it is very hard for creatives to succeed. I fear success, because it would overturn all sorts of things in my life. I want to perfect things before I bring them out before others, and that keeps me in a stalled state, because really I can do nothing perfectly.
I am determined to get past these barriers to achieving the life I want, but it is hard… One step I can take is being positive, another step is to gather the material for what I want to accomplish. These are easy things and I should be able to do them, one small step at a time.
I am capable and I believe that my dreams can become a reality, so as I advise others, I must make the effort and continue going forward…

Going With The Flow

Rolling, that is what happens
When you allow time to wash
Over you without resistance,
You roll forward creeping into
Places you never realized you
Were really meant to go.
Time overtakes you and takes
You over the rough spaces
Where intention would not
Allow you to succeed without
A great deal of extra effort
You might unwillingly expend.
Your perfectionism cannot
Hinder you because the momentum
Comes from beyond yourself,
You drift on currents that lift
Your fragile spirits up higher
Than you ever imagined going.
You roll, a creative force,
Unstoppable, moving through
Both time and space with only
One idea to carry you onward,
A positive declaration that you
Will finally accomplish your dreams.

Adjusted the settings on my mouse… Now this clunky mouse works like the best I have ever had. Who knew tweaking the software could make such improvements? Now I think I love the Logitech M705. It is like having a whole new mouse.

Just fixed a cup of coffee because I have decided I want to stay up all day… Should be no problem, the night is nearly over and daylight will soon arrive. Now if only the coffee cup cools down enough that I can drink from it…

Mom gave me some pens she has not used. Ink pens! Gel pens! I love free pens… My Mom is the greatest! Happy, happy, happy!

If you wish to achieve, you must first believe! You can exceed any goal you have decreed! Just continue forward and your effort will manifest what you are working toward!

Coffee! In a seasonal cup, coffee, what more can you ask for?

Fulfilling A Need

What do we want?
Poems!
Where do we get them?
We make them!
How do we do that?
We engage our creativity!
Who benefits?
The people of the world!
Why does it matter?
It wakes people to happiness!
When can we do it?
Now, because time is slipping by!
What do we want?
Poems!

Invitation Only

Come! Whispered on the air,
Inviting you to join
Others already there…
Come! Such gentle care
Exhibited for all,
Do you want to share?
Come! Do you dare
Accept the invitation,
So very fair?
Come! Do not delay
Make your choice right away
While you have the chance today!
Come! Christ beckons,
The Spirit encourages,
Come as your heart reckons!
Come! While time makes way
Because the moments flee quickly
Hearken now for seconds slip away.
Come! Your choice cannot wait,
Be fast to answer the quiet call
For it urgently decides your fate.
Come! Whispered on the air,
Inviting you to join
Others already there…

These are the nighttime, early morning, ramblings of a restless mind. You should join me at Jo Ann J. A. Jordan on Facebook if you would like to follow my adventures there… Lots of things make it there that never see the blog. I only put it all here today because I thought you might like to experience the process.

I am grateful:

1)   I have equipment that helps me reach my creative potential.
2)   I am old enough to choose my bedtime, most of the time anyway.
3)   People still visit my blog, even though I am no longer doing the Creativity Project.
4)   Life is a gift we can enjoy in the moment.
5)   People are a precious blessing when they touch my life.

As a prompt, write a how, what, when, where, who, why poem. If you need an example, reread the one I did above. If you are a visual artist, instead of poet, picture something that explore at least one of the aspects. I know you can do this, and I bet you will enjoy it. Your creativity is at least as bountiful as mine.

Thank you so much for visiting Chronicles and reading this post. You might find it enjoyable to browse the archives. There is much material contained there. If you like what you found here you can subscribe for email updates by entering your address in the space provided.

I hope your day meets your expectations. Generally you get out of the hours in direct proportion to what you invest, so make each moment special.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 131

Journal entry:

My Treasure

You shine
Like the lightning
Streaking through clouds on high,
You dance across earth with the grace
Of a professional ballerina,
You touch hearts with outstanding charm,
No one can resist you,
Yet you are mine
Alone.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Sunday, May 19, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   We did not have thunderstorms.
2.   Our home is on high ground.
3.   My shower helped my sore muscles.
4.   I did not have to cook.
5.   I decided to wait and crush cans another day.

My Sunday was wonderful. I hope you also had a pleasant day. I encourage you to engage your creativity and produce something unique to share with the world. Your gift could mean so much to someone who needs uplifting. I know you can make a positive contribution if you only put forth an effort.

As a prompt, write a poem, story, or journal entry using the words: shine, lightning, streaking, high, dance, clouds, grace, touch, professional, outstanding, resist, alone, charm. These words were taken from my poem above, see what you can make of them.

I am grateful you took a few precious moments to read my blog. I hope you will visit often, but you might also wish to subscribe to Chronicles by email. Any comments you would like to share are welcome.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 127

Journal entry:

Open Hands And Heart

Come with me, I said
Without a reservation,
I only wanted
To be followed much further
Than ever I had before.

I needed to have
His full cooperation,
His full intention,
To share my life and my love
Though I knew it might not last.

I took his hand in
Mine and led him much deeper
Than I had allowed
Anyone’s reach within my
Heart in all the years before.

Possibilities
Surrounded us with questions,
But we held answers
To life, love, and existence
Inside our relationship.

Come with me, I said
Full well knowing I could be
Hurt and left behind,
But love was worth sacrifice
Of all my complacency.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   I decided to go to bed at 3:00 this morning instead of staying up all night.
2.   I got up feeling quite rested at 7:30am.
3.   Mom’s procedure went well with no complications.
4.   We ate at IHOP.
5.   I took a nap this afternoon.

This Wednesday was a good day. I hope you accomplished much of what you planned today. Now I encourage you to busy yourself with creative work. No doubt you can make something wonderful if you apply yourself. Creativity enriches the world, and yours is vital to enhancing the lives of those you touch. Do not discount your gifts. You have amazing talent and I know you can make a contribution to the global community. You may feel you have a small reach, but every person you touch influences others and your words or art may drive them to achieve more than they could without your prompting.

As a prompt use the words, “Than ever I had before,” in a poem, story, or journal entry. See where it leads you. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope you have enjoyed your visit and encourage you to return often. You might also want to subscribe to Chronicles by email. I am very interested in any thoughts, suggestions, or criticism you may have to share, so please leave a comment.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 122

A meditation on pain and suffering:

This poem is in answer to the prompt at The Sunday Whirl. The words in italics are from Wordle 108, I got the words early on Facebook. You could visit that site for inspiration…

Vitriolic Outburst

I open my mouth and
Say the words that come to mind
Allowing them space
Under the blistering sun,
I will not yet be broken.

I will not cave, but
Shake my fist in defiance
Despite your constant
Drone raised against my judgment,
You will find actions binding.

I will continue
Circling subjects voicing
Chants and quiet vows
Unceasingly, using all
My force quite efficiently.

I would call you crook,
But the name is much too good
To describe you well,
You’re an absolute bully
Deserving name enemy.

My anger boils so
Riotously I cannot
Contain it within,
It overflows determined
To impact our history.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Friday, May 10, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   I went to town and did our weekly shopping.
2.   I picked up a Papa John’s pizza for me and Krystals for Mom.
3.   Laura called and rescheduled our dinner together.
4.   I talked to Richard Nichols this evening.
5.   Reba called and reported on her condition. She is recovering from her surgery.

I had a reasonably good Friday, although I stayed up all night. I hope you also had a good day. While you have a few moments, concentrate your energy on doing some creative work. I know you have the ability if you only set your mind to it. Your skill will grow with practice and inspiration will find you if you make a consistent effort.

As a prompt, write about a situation or person that maddens you. I find this is a great stress reliever. Leave a link to your poem, story, or journal entry in the comments below.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you will find your way here again, but you might also want to subscribe to Chronicles by entering your email address in the space provided above. Any thoughts, suggestions, or criticism you have to offer would be greatly appreciated.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 117

A letter I will never send:

The following poem was prompted by The Sunday Whirl. The words in italics were found in the wordle there. Should you need a bit of inspiration visit that site.

Traffic Control

Thunderous pulsing
Of a thousand messages
Coming across wires
Moving almost without count,
Definitely without charm.

Others dish them out
With the thick spit of red rage
Drowning words in soup
That pours down the front of each
Person’s fine dressing like mud.

We are strained, stained, left
Flinching under deluge of
Communication,
Taxing imagination,
Killing creativity.

Overcome by thought
Travelling extremely fast,
We cannot compete
Within our own simple minds,
We have to exit the stream.

To find sanity
We must limit the inflow
Of information,
Working to place some order
Upon continuous flood.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Sunday, May 5, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   Dreams in slumber are not reality.
2.   Mom was able to get a bath despite her pain.
3.   Jeremy came by for a few minutes and took off a bag of our trash.
4.   Reba called and has our reborn babies almost ready.
5.   Life sometimes has rewards beyond our expectations.

This Sunday has been relaxing, although Mom is still in a lot of pain. When she sits still it abates somewhat. I hope you have enjoyed your day. If you feel inclined, spend a few moments exploring your creative impulses. There is much you can accomplish if you only make an effort. I have faith in your ability.

As a prompt, write a letter to someone who deserted you. You do not have to send the letter, but you might find material in it that you could otherwise use in a poem, story, or journal entry. If you use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you will find your way back here often, but you might also like to enter your email address in the space provided above and subscribe to Chronicles. Any thoughts, suggestions, or criticism you might offer would be greatly appreciated, so please leave a comment.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 113

Journal entry:

I actually wrote the following poem on Monday and had already posted my blog, then I forgot to post it yesterday. So I hope you enjoy it.

Unsung Heroes

They’re the ones who stand
Backstage, out of the spotlight,
With quiet support
For every flamboyant act
Performed before the rapt crowd.

They’re the ones who say
Constant prayers for those who brave
Terrible dangers,
A hot line to God’s power
Is kept open by their pleas.

They’re the ones seldom
Wanting any credit for
The sacrifice they
Ever so willingly make
To keep everyone else safe.

They’re the ones who will
Never mention quitting in
The face of defeat,
They have hope and faith to keep
On fighting despite the odds.

They’re the ones who don’t
Voice their doubts in the hearing
Of others who might
Then lose heart, they continue
Believing to the finish.

They’re the ones who make
Other lives worth living with
Their dedication
To lifting up their fellows
Helping them their tasks complete.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, April 29, 2013

Today’s poem, which is actually a rap song, follows:

Nonsensical Rhythm

Ooo la la…
Di op, dippity, whop, do…
That’s how it goes
When I am trying
To think of a song
To make into a poem
To write for me and you.

Ooo la la…
Di op, dippity, whop, do…
I got the music
In me and want to
Get the music inside
Of you too, so I keep
Writing until I do.

Ooo la la…
Di op, dippity, whop, do…
It does not make a lot
Of sense, but it is not
Necessary that it does,
It just has to reach out
And grab ahold of you.

Ooo la la…
Di op, dippity, whop, do…
Get yourself up,
Jump, shout, and move,
Sing out the song
I’m sharing with you,
Making it a part of you.

Ooo la la…
Di op, dippity, whop, do…
That’s how it goes
When I am trying
To think of a song
To make into a poem
To write for me and you.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   It was only cloudy and did not rain.
2.   I was able to get the x-rays from Doctor Desai’s office.
3.   I was able to get an appointment with Doctor Patel’s office.
4.   Mom saw Doctor Bueno and he helped her some.
5.   Carrie Leigh cut the grass in our little yard.

I had a stressful Wednesday, but it turned out alright. I hope you had a blissfully happy day. Now do as I have done and let your creativity loose to make something that can enrich your life and those of your readers. I know that you can do wonderful things if you only make an effort.

As a prompt, write a rap that begins with some nonsensical words in rhythm. I had never done this before today, but I quite enjoyed it and suspect you will too. Should you use this prompt, leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog. I hope you found encouragement in it. Come back often, but you might also want to enter your email address in the space provided above and subscribe to Chronicles. If you have thoughts, suggestions, or criticism to share with me, please leave a comment.

Always,
Jo Ann

Creativity Project Year Two-Day 109

Journal entry:

Reciprocity

If you were the light
Reflected upon the water,
I would be the waves
On the surface of the sea.

If you were the brightness
Carried on the breeze,
I would rise up
To meet your luminosity.

If you were the breath
Gliding on my fragile edges,
I would be the foam
Reaching up to greet you.

If you were so brief
And totally evanescent,
I would be receptive
Wanting you continually.

If you were the light
Reflected upon the water,
I would be the waves
On the surface of the sea.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Saturday, April 27, 2013

I am grateful:

1.   I awoke feeling much more stable than when I went to bed last night.
2.   Leigh called and talked with me a little while.
3.   Linda agreed that I could come to her house and take pictures.
4.   I did some experimenting with ISO.
5.   I took Hope for a walk and found the words I had been searching for all day.

Other than some difficulty with words, my Saturday was wonderful… The words finally arrived, so even that was not a loss. I hope your day was all you hoped it would be. If you have not already, I encourage you to engage your creativity and make a work of artistry. I am quite sure that you are able, if you only make an effort.

As a prompt, use an image from nature to write a LOVE poem. I am certain you can do this… If you prefer a story or journal entry, by all means, do that. If you should use this prompt, please leave a link to your work in the comments below.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you have enjoyed your time here and that you will come back often. You might also want to enter your email address in the space provided above and subscribe to Chronicles. I appreciate any comments you may feel like sharing, so please leave one.

Always,
Jo Ann

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